Mylo Xyloto (NME [fake] Review) - Page 2

Cleggy · 23-09-2011, 08:46 PM

I usually like these kinds of articles, but frankly this isn't funny in the slightest.

Coldplaying@Hogwarts · 23-09-2011, 09:51 PM

I liked the New York Post one a lot better.

howyousawtheworld · 23-09-2011, 10:03 PM

Oh dear God that was a truly abysmal attempt at humour. It's further evidence of how far NME#s gone down the shitter.

All they seem to do is pine for the days of Britpop and they desperately try to do that by licking Kasabian's arse all the time which just goes to show how much they'll big up a wannabe British guitar band albeit a totally shit guitar band.

Hartroc · 23-09-2011, 10:52 PM

I would actually love to hear this album.

Prospector · 23-09-2011, 10:59 PM

The Rihanna bit is quite funny but the rest is not funny at ALL. I think this forum could come up with much better jokes.

Tryptophan · 23-09-2011, 11:00 PM

Smiled at the Hurts Like Heaven description (quite funny). And the word vuvuzela. Other than that, fairly weak.

Hartroc · 23-09-2011, 11:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prospector;4989719
The Rihanna bit is quite funny but the rest is not funny at ALL. I think this forum could come up with much better jokes.

This forum didn't write it. And what are you talking about? "Better jokes?"

Prospector · 23-09-2011, 11:06 PM

^I know the forum didn't write it...I'm saying this forum can mock the band with funnier descriptions based on the titles than NME did.

Hartroc · 23-09-2011, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prospector;4989736
^I know the forum didn't write it...I'm saying this forum can mock the band with funnier descriptions based on the titles than NME did.

Oh haha I totally misunderstood you. Sorry.

squibby92 · 24-09-2011, 12:47 AM

he was just a complete dick and the fact that the nme editor or whoever gave him permission to do it shows how much of a bunch of pricks nme really are. from now on they can shove their arse licking shitty views up their arse. i'm sick of their pathetic attempts to mock any band that isn't similar to oasis. just going to stick with Q magazine from now on, at least i know i'm getting decent, fair opinions on current music.

squibby92 · 24-09-2011, 12:48 AM

he was just a complete dick and the fact that the nme editor or whoever gave him permission to do it shows how much of a bunch of pricks nme really are. from now on they can shove their arse licking shitty views up their arse. i'm sick of their pathetic attempts to mock any band that isn't similar to oasis. just going to stick with Q magazine from now on, at least i know i'm getting decent, fair opinions on current music.

squibby92 · 24-09-2011, 12:50 AM

he was just a complete dick and the fact that the nme editor or whoever gave him permission to do it shows how much of a bunch of pricks nme really are. from now on they can shove their arse licking shitty views up their arse. i'm sick of their pathetic attempts to mock any band that isn't similar to oasis. just going to stick with Q magazine from now on, at least i know i'm getting decent, fair opinions on current music.

LadyBellaStrawberry · 24-09-2011, 01:07 AM

I'd love to hear the Princess of China they are talking about

. . . thats a side of Coldplay I have yet to see !

the_escapist · 24-09-2011, 01:21 AM

This guy is lucky I don't live in the UK. I don't even understand how NME allowed this.

Cobalt · 24-09-2011, 05:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by michal91d;4989370
11. "Up in Flames"
Dedicated to London's rioters, this tells the story of a newsagents in Hackney which was burnt out, and records the owner going in to inspect the husk of his burnt-out shop. Once inside, he finds a single white dove nesting in the top shelf, where he used to keep his smutty magazines. It is a plea for hope, sanity in an age of madness, and devotion in an age of fickleness. "You've got to search for the hero inside yourself," he calls, hauntingly. "Search for the hero inside/ A single new white dove/ Nesting in the place of lesbian love."

so touching

23-09-2011, 09:51 PM	#17
Coldplaying@Hogwarts Creator of the Cake Meme Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 2,454 My Mood: Location: Didn't get to heaven, but I made it close Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts	I liked the New York Post one a lot better. __________________ Taken by me on 7-29-12, at the Boston, MA concert. You're welcome. Keeper of: THE CLOCKS PIANO RIFF, Chris's sexy falsetto, Chris's sweatiness after performing a high-energy song, the Elvis impersonators in "Christmas Lights," the LOLdplay thread, LOLdplay Part II, Jonny's love of cake, "I don't mind not being cool" (Chris quote), the FUGPLAY thread, Major Minus, the Jimmy Kimmel Live "Lost and Found" skit, the 2008 SNL performance, the 2009 Grammys, the string section in Viva La Vida, Major Minus, Jonny's love of Sherlock Holmes, the moment when Chris hugged/fondled Guy's chest during "Viva La Vida" at the Liverpool Crisis concert, , "Who the fuck would wanna be king?" from the Liverpool Crisis gig performance of Viva La Vida, the Anton Corbijn music video for Viva La Vida, the Famous Old Painters instrumental leak, Major Minus, the rainbow walking man, all Mylo Xyloto-era graffiti, 'This is Jonny Buckland. He's our guitarist. He's my best friend and he wrote this song!', and MYLO XYLOTO. ...did I mention Major Minus? Quote: Originally Posted by Brent I mean if I had to choose the way I was going to die, Chris Martin running me over with a rolling desk chair would be at the top of the list. ~I LOVE ALTERNATIVE ROCK~ Coldplay: Mansfield, MA – Comcast Center – August 3, 2009 Green Day: Mansfield, MA – Comcast Center – August 16, 2010 Phoenix: Boston, MA – Agganis Arena – October 2010 Coldplay: Boston, MA – TD Garden – July 29, 2012

23-09-2011, 10:52 PM	#19
Hartroc Dancing Politik Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 891 My Mood: Location: In a Separate Sky Gender: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I would actually love to hear this album. __________________

23-09-2011, 10:59 PM	#20
Prospector Rafael Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,113 Location: Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brasil Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 205 Thanked 182 Times in 131 Posts	The Rihanna bit is quite funny but the rest is not funny at ALL. I think this forum could come up with much better jokes. __________________ South American Ambassador 2012

23-09-2011, 11:00 PM	#21
Tryptophan Watch the orange glow Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 867 Location: Inside a bubble Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 1 Thanked 6 Times in 1 Post	Smiled at the Hurts Like Heaven description (quite funny). And the word vuvuzela. Other than that, fairly weak. __________________ "I'm always trying to work out what 'He' or 'She' is. I don't know if it's Allah or Jesus or Mohammed or Zeus. But I'd go for Zeus" - Chris Martin Jonnyboy Buckland is a fucking legend. Proud keeper of: Shiver (Live at Rock Werchter 2011) "I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war, if you could tell me something worth fighting for" "Give me real don't give me fake" Jonny's epic intro of Spies in the live versions in 2001/2002 Some other stuff

23-09-2011, 11:02 PM	#22
Hartroc Dancing Politik Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 891 My Mood: Location: In a Separate Sky Gender: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Quote: Originally Posted by Prospector;4989719 The Rihanna bit is quite funny but the rest is not funny at ALL. I think this forum could come up with much better jokes. This forum didn't write it. And what are you talking about? "Better jokes?" __________________

23-09-2011, 08:46 PM	#16
Cleggy Just Another Coldplayer Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 484 My Mood: Location: England Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts	I usually like these kinds of articles, but frankly this isn't funny in the slightest.

23-09-2011, 10:03 PM	#18
howyousawtheworld Coldplayer Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 6,756 Location: Scotland Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 13 Thanked 52 Times in 31 Posts	Oh dear God that was a truly abysmal attempt at humour. It's further evidence of how far NME#s gone down the shitter. All they seem to do is pine for the days of Britpop and they desperately try to do that by licking Kasabian's arse all the time which just goes to show how much they'll big up a wannabe British guitar band albeit a totally shit guitar band.

23-09-2011, 11:06 PM	#23
Prospector Rafael Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,113 Location: Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brasil Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 205 Thanked 182 Times in 131 Posts	^I know the forum didn't write it...I'm saying this forum can mock the band with funnier descriptions based on the titles than NME did. __________________ South American Ambassador 2012

23-09-2011, 11:08 PM	#24
Hartroc Dancing Politik Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 891 My Mood: Location: In a Separate Sky Gender: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Quote: Originally Posted by Prospector;4989736 ^I know the forum didn't write it...I'm saying this forum can mock the band with funnier descriptions based on the titles than NME did. Oh haha I totally misunderstood you. Sorry. __________________

24-09-2011, 12:47 AM	#25
squibby92 I'm So Easy To Please :) Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 556 My Mood: Location: Cork, Ireland Or Birkenhead, England Gender: Country: Seen CP: 3 times Fav. CP album: Parachutes Fav. CP song: Everything's Not Lost Fav. CP member: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 15 Thanked 13 Times in 10 Posts	he was just a complete dick and the fact that the nme editor or whoever gave him permission to do it shows how much of a bunch of pricks nme really are. from now on they can shove their arse licking shitty views up their arse. i'm sick of their pathetic attempts to mock any band that isn't similar to oasis. just going to stick with Q magazine from now on, at least i know i'm getting decent, fair opinions on current music. __________________ Coldplay @ The Echo Arena, Liverpool 7/12/2008 Snow Patrol @ The Echo Arena, Liverpool 6/3/2009 Coldplay @ The LCCC, Manchester 12/9/2009 Snow Patrol @ The INEC, Killarney 4/12/2009 Oxegen Festival, Naas 2010 Gorillaz @ The O2, Dublin 11/11/2010 Oxegen Festival, Naas 2011 Snow Patrol @ The O2, Dublin 21/1/2012 The Keeper Of: Everything's Not Lost, Chris's shirt from the Shiver video, Coldplay @ Liverpool, Echo Arena 7/12/08, Oxegen 2011 performance Twitter Last.FM My Blog

24-09-2011, 12:48 AM	#26
squibby92 I'm So Easy To Please :) Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 556 My Mood: Location: Cork, Ireland Or Birkenhead, England Gender: Country: Seen CP: 3 times Fav. CP album: Parachutes Fav. CP song: Everything's Not Lost Fav. CP member: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 15 Thanked 13 Times in 10 Posts	he was just a complete dick and the fact that the nme editor or whoever gave him permission to do it shows how much of a bunch of pricks nme really are. from now on they can shove their arse licking shitty views up their arse. i'm sick of their pathetic attempts to mock any band that isn't similar to oasis. just going to stick with Q magazine from now on, at least i know i'm getting decent, fair opinions on current music. __________________ Coldplay @ The Echo Arena, Liverpool 7/12/2008 Snow Patrol @ The Echo Arena, Liverpool 6/3/2009 Coldplay @ The LCCC, Manchester 12/9/2009 Snow Patrol @ The INEC, Killarney 4/12/2009 Oxegen Festival, Naas 2010 Gorillaz @ The O2, Dublin 11/11/2010 Oxegen Festival, Naas 2011 Snow Patrol @ The O2, Dublin 21/1/2012 The Keeper Of: Everything's Not Lost, Chris's shirt from the Shiver video, Coldplay @ Liverpool, Echo Arena 7/12/08, Oxegen 2011 performance Twitter Last.FM My Blog

24-09-2011, 12:50 AM	#27
squibby92 I'm So Easy To Please :) Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 556 My Mood: Location: Cork, Ireland Or Birkenhead, England Gender: Country: Seen CP: 3 times Fav. CP album: Parachutes Fav. CP song: Everything's Not Lost Fav. CP member: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 15 Thanked 13 Times in 10 Posts	he was just a complete dick and the fact that the nme editor or whoever gave him permission to do it shows how much of a bunch of pricks nme really are. from now on they can shove their arse licking shitty views up their arse. i'm sick of their pathetic attempts to mock any band that isn't similar to oasis. just going to stick with Q magazine from now on, at least i know i'm getting decent, fair opinions on current music. __________________ Coldplay @ The Echo Arena, Liverpool 7/12/2008 Snow Patrol @ The Echo Arena, Liverpool 6/3/2009 Coldplay @ The LCCC, Manchester 12/9/2009 Snow Patrol @ The INEC, Killarney 4/12/2009 Oxegen Festival, Naas 2010 Gorillaz @ The O2, Dublin 11/11/2010 Oxegen Festival, Naas 2011 Snow Patrol @ The O2, Dublin 21/1/2012 The Keeper Of: Everything's Not Lost, Chris's shirt from the Shiver video, Coldplay @ Liverpool, Echo Arena 7/12/08, Oxegen 2011 performance Twitter Last.FM My Blog

24-09-2011, 01:07 AM	#28
LadyBellaStrawberry ihavenothingtosay Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,967 My Mood: Location: I don't know . Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	I'd love to hear the Princess of China they are talking about . . . thats a side of Coldplay I have yet to see ! __________________ But hold on to what you believe in the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight... . & in the dead of night, tell me you will be mine ♥ .

24-09-2011, 01:21 AM	#29
the_escapist I'd rather be a comma Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,031 My Mood: Location: In My Place! Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 9 Thanked 79 Times in 28 Posts	This guy is lucky I don't live in the UK. I don't even understand how NME allowed this. __________________

24-09-2011, 05:17 AM	#30
Cobalt OH SUCH THE SHAME! Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 18,339 My Mood: Location: Melbourne, Australia Gender: Country: Chat posts: 87 Thanks given: 164 Thanked 178 Times in 124 Posts	Quote: Originally Posted by michal91d;4989370 11. "Up in Flames" Dedicated to London's rioters, this tells the story of a newsagents in Hackney which was burnt out, and records the owner going in to inspect the husk of his burnt-out shop. Once inside, he finds a single white dove nesting in the top shelf, where he used to keep his smutty magazines. It is a plea for hope, sanity in an age of madness, and devotion in an age of fickleness. "You've got to search for the hero inside yourself," he calls, hauntingly. "Search for the hero inside/ A single new white dove/ Nesting in the place of lesbian love." so touching __________________ my quotes are old and my body is weary this space for rent