And now: do you easily make friends with others?

[rudy_o]

Yes, but if the person is shit the answer is no.

[mc_squared]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by *Sarah*;4459597
it's funny that you post this, julia, because i was thinking a lot about friendship recently. i completely understand what you say, because i feel the same at the moment.

looking back, i think things have changed quite a bit for me. when i was younger and at school, i had many friends and also two best friends, we were really close. when everyone left school in 2006, i hadn't really thought about how much that woud change everything. i live in a small village, so everyone i knew moved away to big cities sooner or later and during the years i have lost contact with most of my friends from school. even my best friends.

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It's inevitable, unfortunately. People are constantly changing and evolving, acquiring different interests, and moving around. That's generally why you end up losing contact.
You basically don't have so much in common any more, and you end up acquiring new friends instead based on the changes in your life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by *Sarah*;4459597
i've made a couple of new friends at uni but it just isn't the same anymore, plus, those three years at uni are over now and people are moving again.

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Same rule applies.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by *Sarah*;4459597
i've been friends with a girl for about 14 years, really close friends, and this year was the first time she didn't even send me a message for my birthday. it's depressing because i never forget people, but then again, i learned not to expect the same from others.

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Sad, but true. Better not to "expect" anything from anyone, as you're likely to end up disappointed or let down.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by *Sarah*;4459597
also, i hate when people send you a message every three months saying "you know, we HAVE to meet up again soon!!" and then you don't hear from them for the next three months until they tell you the same thing.

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These people are clearly very "superficial" and probably aren't worth bothering with. Even worse are those two-faced people who seemingly "befriend" you (possibly because they want something from you) and act all nice, and then the next time they see you completely ignore you without even having the guts/common decency to explain why. These people are the lowest of the low IMO.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by *Sarah*;4459597
it's complicated. it was alright because i was in a relationship for about 3 years and i never really felt lonely during that time. after that relationship ended, it was really, really hard. but then again, we're still young and we will meet loads of new people in the future. it's gonna be alright.

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That's the right attitude to have and it reminds me of this classic house song:

YouTube - Sterling void - It's all right

[*Sarah*]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mc_squared;4459685
It's inevitable, unfortunately. People are constantly changing and evolving, acquiring different interests, and moving around. That's generally why you end up losing contact.
You basically don't have so much in common any more, and you end up acquiring new friends instead based on the changes in your life.

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yes, and of course it makes perfect sense. i just wasn't expecting it when i was younger, because i was keen to stay in contact with everyone. it was hard when i found out that reality doesn't really work that way

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mc_squared;4459685
Sad, but true. Better not to "expect" anything from anyone, as you're likely to end up disappointed or let down.

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well, i strongly believe in the whole "you get what you give" thing. in the past i was simply too desperate to please everyone and be nice to everyone, because i was scared of losing people. nowadays, when i realize that someone doesn't "bother" with me anymore, i'm not bothering with them and ever since i've made that decision, i'm feeling a lot better.

[mc_squared]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by *Sarah*;4459694
yes, and of course it makes perfect sense. i just wasn't expecting it when i was younger, because i was keen to stay in contact with everyone. it was hard when i found out that reality doesn't really work that way

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There are only so many people you can genuinely keep in contact with properly, anyway.
Therefore it's inevitable quite a few are going fall by the wayside sooner or later.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by *Sarah*;4459694
well, i strongly believe in the whole "you get what you give" thing. in the past i was simply too desperate to please everyone and be nice to everyone, because i was scared of losing people. nowadays, when i realize that someone doesn't "bother" with me anymore, i'm not bothering with them and ever since i've made that decision, i'm feeling a lot better.

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That's the right attitude to have. Both parties have to want to keep in contact for it to work. It can't all be one-sided.

[harrisonrules]

I've had social anxiety issues in the past. I think I do alright though as long as the other person I am talking to is willing to talk back to me as well. I have just recently joined this social group and I making new friends a lot these days.

[Miss Mags]

making friends is not really te problem with me, it's keeping them.

[an angel]

^

[LiquidSky]

well I have no problem in talking to strangers or making friends at all but I am kinda of a selective person.... meaning I don't just befriend anyone and I don't mean as in I want something from them either. It's just we get along better and understand each other and I know for sure that they care & show me and are there from me and are going to be my friends forever...instead of someone who obviously pretends to and wants something from me or need me to help them with something. I should be a psychologist

[Raphaele]

My best friend and I met 24 years ago, I was her wedding witness, I am her daughter's godmother... The only bad thing is that we are living far from each other.

I have another best friend I know for 16 years and she lives in Brazil...

I need to know somebody very well to claim he or she is a friend because people have always considered me as the one who can help them when they are in trouble, then they leave.

Thanks to the board I think I have another close friend and we share the same passion for CP.

[ainsley]

When I first started my new school I was so scared that I wouldn't make any friends. I didn't know anybody at all. But now, I have so many good friends. Especially one boy in my class. Just in a couple of days him and I connected instantly. He's just as quirky and wacky as me. He runs with me outside in the rain during our breaks at school, he lets me lay on his shoulder when I am tired, he gives me hugs and listens to me when I talk. I don't know. I'm just so grateful that I've made a friend like him.
But I think I was just lucky. I don't usually make friends like that easily at all. So the answer to the question is no really

[mc_squared]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by raphaele;4460596
My best friend and I met 24 years ago, I was her wedding witness, I am her daughter's godmother... The only bad thing is that we are living far from each other.

I have another best friend I know for 16 years and she lives in Brazil...

I need to know somebody very well to claim he or she is a friend because people have always considered me as the one who can help them when they are in trouble, then they leave.

Thanks to the board I think I have another close friend and we share the same passion for CP.

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I've got to know some great people from the board too. I'm going to a concert with one of them next week.

[nouratan]

i love talking to ppl when i meet then but hate keeping in contact and wont call them friends either.
i even hate calling ppl who have been my friends for a longtime. they call me and rant abt me being the worst friend in the world.
its true it becomes tough to make friends when you grow older imo it coz we become cynical and paranoid

[Alice]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ainsley;4460609
When I first started my new school I was so scared that I wouldn't make any friends. I didn't know anybody at all. But now, I have so many good friends. Especially one boy in my class. Just in a couple of days him and I connected instantly. He's just as quirky and wacky as me. He runs with me outside in the rain during our breaks at school, he lets me lay on his shoulder when I am tired, he gives me hugs and listens to me when I talk. I don't know. I'm just so grateful that I've made a friend like him.
But I think I was just lucky. I don't usually make friends like that easily at all. So the answer to the question is no really

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Yeah I think it's a matter of luck too. When I started Uni, the first person I talked to was a girl who soon became a really really great friend of mine !
And now I have to do the same all over again but nothing like that happens . I guess I just have to wait and see...

PS: that guys sounds amazing. Don't you want to date him? lol

[Electric.Candy]

** what Maggy 6146 said.


and Yes. But usually I'm not the one who is approaching, I'm still kinda unused to it.
I try not to be so uptight and all, because when with friends I turn into a wacko

[shesawsparks]

No. I'm not a very outgoing or confident person, never have been, and i'm completely lacking in social skills. I have a few close friends and that's about it.