The BEST OF THE BEST Jokes?

raelikescoldplay · 24-01-2009, 12:08 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahaha

:la ugh3:

okayyy.... what are some of the best jokes you have ever heard?

this one might be hard to understand, unless you know a drummer or you are a drummer
how do you know when a drummer is at the door?
the knocking gets faster!

^its true, but MY personal drummer(

) knocks with a beat to a song

HorrificAttack · 24-01-2009, 12:10 AM

Just read all Mark's posts, better than any comic you'll ever see live

MrMagpie · 24-01-2009, 02:54 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahaha

Black Rose · 24-01-2009, 06:41 PM

A man walks into a bar...

...Ouch he said.

(i know it's crap)

The Escapist · 24-01-2009, 07:00 PM

^no ive got a better version then that.

Three blondes walk into a bar. You would think one of them wouldve ducked.

The Escapist · 24-01-2009, 07:03 PM

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.

"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.

"How long did it take you?"

"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"

Black Rose · 24-01-2009, 07:14 PM

An Englishman, A welshman and James walks into a pub, the bartender looks up and says "is this some sort of joke?"

Corey07 · 24-01-2009, 07:36 PM

How does Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road

Tnspieler1012 · 24-01-2009, 07:51 PM

You could devote a whole thread to helen keller jokes (and blonde jokes, dead baby jokes etc.).

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

Because she was a woman.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house?

Neither did she.

raelikescoldplay · 25-01-2009, 12:08 AM

a blonde is waiting in the doctor office when the doctor comes in
he says"Congrats, your pregnant"
the blonde replies with a gasp and says"Are you sure its mine?!"

a brunette walks into a doctors office and says to the doctor "Everywhere i touch it hurts"
she touches her knee "OW"
she touches her arm "OW"
the doctor asks her "Youre really blonde, arent you?"
she replies "Yea...why?"
"Youre finger is broken"

a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops
they see a ally and run in only to find a dead end and a pile of dogs, a pile of a cats, and a pile of lizards.
the redhead hops into the cats, the brunette hops into the dogs, and the blonde hops into the lizards.
the cops saw them run into the ally so they follow.
one of them goes to the dogs
"maybe theyre in here"
the brunette said"woof woof" and the cops walked over to the cats
"maybe theyre in here"
the redhead said"meow meow" and the cops walk over to the lizards
"maybe theyre in here"
the blonde pauses then, using her quick thinking says"lizard lizard"
...

ricardo · 25-01-2009, 01:03 AM

hahahaha for the first one

24-01-2009, 12:08 AM	#1
raelikescoldplay Coldplayer Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 201 My Mood: Location: im a dumbass american whod rather be somebody else Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	The BEST OF THE BEST Jokes? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahaha :la ugh3: okayyy.... what are some of the best jokes you have ever heard? this one might be hard to understand, unless you know a drummer or you are a drummer how do you know when a drummer is at the door? the knocking gets faster! ^its true, but MY personal drummer() knocks with a beat to a song __________________ I HAVE A NEW PLAN!!! Tell me if this is stupid, but im kinda a humanitarian AND I WANT TO HELP! So, I came up with this...plan? i guess: I want to sign a piece of paper with this symbol i made up in glass art(and put where im from and where i am and all that) to send to my friends from another country, then they could do the same and so on... is that a good idea? im kinda doubting my self...BUT I NEED ADVICE FROM THE COOLEST PEOPLE IN WORLD! haha

24-01-2009, 06:41 PM	#4
Black Rose Bear with me Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 47,545 My Mood: Location: A strangeland under the iron sea where hopes & fears can make the night train be in perfect symmetry Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 6 Thanked 107 Times in 85 Posts	A man walks into a bar... ...Ouch he said. (i know it's crap) __________________ You could take a picture of something you see In the future where will I be? You could climb a ladder up to the sun Or write a song nobody had sung Or do something that's never been done

24-01-2009, 07:00 PM	#5
The Escapist Lindisfarne Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 20,574 Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	^no ive got a better version then that. Three blondes walk into a bar. You would think one of them wouldve ducked. __________________ "The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless"- Tolstoy

24-01-2009, 07:03 PM	#6
The Escapist Lindisfarne Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 20,574 Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. "What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired. "Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed. "How long did it take you?" "Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!" __________________ "The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless"- Tolstoy

24-01-2009, 07:14 PM	#7
Black Rose Bear with me Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 47,545 My Mood: Location: A strangeland under the iron sea where hopes & fears can make the night train be in perfect symmetry Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 6 Thanked 107 Times in 85 Posts	An Englishman, A welshman and James walks into a pub, the bartender looks up and says "is this some sort of joke?" __________________ You could take a picture of something you see In the future where will I be? You could climb a ladder up to the sun Or write a song nobody had sung Or do something that's never been done

24-01-2009, 12:10 AM	#2
HorrificAttack Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 6,809 My Mood: Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Just read all Mark's posts, better than any comic you'll ever see live

24-01-2009, 02:54 AM	#3
MrMagpie Banned Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 26,887 Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahaha

24-01-2009, 07:36 PM	#8
Corey07 Bioluminescence Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 556 Location: Qatar, where else? Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	How does Helen Keller drive? One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road __________________ Lying in a Dream State, Awake For All To See... My Coldplay Cover- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5Y36A8ttic

24-01-2009, 07:51 PM	#9
Tnspieler1012 Come On, Let's Go Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 12,252 My Mood: Location: Prague, Czech Republic Gender: Country: Chat posts: 1 Thanks given: 61 Thanked 132 Times in 81 Posts	You could devote a whole thread to helen keller jokes (and blonde jokes, dead baby jokes etc.). Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman. Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Neither did she. __________________ "So I wanna live in a wooden house, where making more friends would be easy, I wanna live where the sun comes out..." Quote: Originally Posted by Karencorpse;4818717 Tnspieler1012 seams like a very interesting guy who has lots of interesting things to talk about and great things to do with her. Quote: Originally Posted by eff-exx;5237716 You're like the ultimate post-rocker in this forum. Quote: Originally Posted by Til_Kingdom_Come;5509315 Ha Ha!!! I guess you suck at geography as well as Rock music!!

25-01-2009, 12:08 AM	#10
raelikescoldplay Coldplayer Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 201 My Mood: Location: im a dumbass american whod rather be somebody else Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	a blonde is waiting in the doctor office when the doctor comes in he says"Congrats, your pregnant" the blonde replies with a gasp and says"Are you sure its mine?!" a brunette walks into a doctors office and says to the doctor "Everywhere i touch it hurts" she touches her knee "OW" she touches her arm "OW" the doctor asks her "Youre really blonde, arent you?" she replies "Yea...why?" "Youre finger is broken" a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops they see a ally and run in only to find a dead end and a pile of dogs, a pile of a cats, and a pile of lizards. the redhead hops into the cats, the brunette hops into the dogs, and the blonde hops into the lizards. the cops saw them run into the ally so they follow. one of them goes to the dogs "maybe theyre in here" the brunette said"woof woof" and the cops walked over to the cats "maybe theyre in here" the redhead said"meow meow" and the cops walk over to the lizards "maybe theyre in here" the blonde pauses then, using her quick thinking says"lizard lizard" ... __________________ I HAVE A NEW PLAN!!! Tell me if this is stupid, but im kinda a humanitarian AND I WANT TO HELP! So, I came up with this...plan? i guess: I want to sign a piece of paper with this symbol i made up in glass art(and put where im from and where i am and all that) to send to my friends from another country, then they could do the same and so on... is that a good idea? im kinda doubting my self...BUT I NEED ADVICE FROM THE COOLEST PEOPLE IN WORLD! haha

25-01-2009, 01:03 AM	#11
ricardo n00b Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 10,741 Location: Under neon loneliness motorcycle emptiness Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	hahahaha for the first one __________________ :'( = Quote: Originally Posted by juanif94;4816627 Copy & Paste Quote: Originally Posted by Reilly;4824826 And practice kissing with your hand but not the one you masturbate with /thread

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search