||The OFFICIAL Coldplay FanFic Thread 1||

[Twisted mind]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by acid novae;2696186
Yes. It has innocent sweet untouched virgin flowerchild Chris in it. And swimming pools.

---

OMFG.



You people are making me happy

[quarante-deux]

This thread lacks sex. No really. You prudes.

Here's a little crossover for ya bitches.


A Thousand And Seven Hundred Words Too Many


"I want to leave, Thom."

"Stop whining, Jonny. Do you think -I- wanted to come?" Thom groaned.

"The Grammies are stupid; I hope we don't win" Jonny said in a sulky voice.

"It's not my fault if Ed isn't here to do the acceptance speech."

"We could let Colin do it."

"No way. Nobody needs to know about TS Eliot's life or the meaning of the colour red in Uganda."

"He's not like that, you're exaggerating."

"Barely."

"It's true" Jonny conceded. "Where is he by the way?"

"Socializing" Thom replied, wrinkling his nose. "Who even needs a social life? Especially here, there are quite a few people I'd rather not s- oh fuck, hide me! Hide me!"

"What? What? Where?" Jonny asked, glancing around him in mild panic as Thom ducked behind Jonny's back. "Oh."

"Let's go away, quick! Don't look at him!" Thom urged.

"T-Thom. It's too late, he saw me. He's coming over now. What do I do?"

But Thom was already gone, hiding behind a waiter who was walking from guest to guest with a tray on top of which stood flutes of champagne.

Jonny was fuming. "What a motherfucking, cocksucking little bastard oh, hello Chris, how are you doing?"

Jonny forced himself not to cringe as Chris Martin smiled broadly at the sight of a member of his favourite band ever.

Jonny held out a hand, but Chris ignored it and threw his arms around Jonny, pulling him in a bone-crushing hug. He buried his nose in Jonny's hair and inhaled deeply.

"Jonny, I'm so happy to see you!" he beamed.

"Yeah, same" Jonny lied.

"So you're nominated in pretty much the same categories as us, yeah? Man, you should be the ones winning. We're gonna be so embarrassed if we get those awards, we were discussing that with Jonny earlier – by the way, did you know I asked Jonny to join my band because he had the same name as you? I was a Radiohead fan – still am, haha – back then, that was just before OK Computer – man, this album is so fantastic, I wish I'd done it myself – and Thom is my favourite musician – though I like all of you, obviously, and so there was Jonny with me at the London College and it reminded me of you and that's how we formed Coldplay. Well, technically it wasn't Coldplay but Starfish back then, but when we were signed - by Parlophone by the way, just like you, I was so happy about it! - they made us change the name – like you actually, isn't that funny? Haha so there was that other guy, he had found the name 'Coldplay' for his own band but they didn't like it so they didn't use it, and afterwards I asked that guy if I could use the name, he agreed and here we are. Haha, I wonder what he thinks about us now, I haven't spoken to him in aaaages, I should give him a ring sometime, but I'm so busy all the time, that's the downside of being a band leader, Thom must know what I'm talking about, where is he by the way?"

Jonny was staring at Chris, wide-eyed and speechless. He cleared his throat.

"Err, uh... I don't know."

"No?" Chris straightened up and looked around "I thought I'd find him with you. I'm going to look for him."

Jonny, who was looking for Thom himself, spotted him crouched between Paul McCartney and Matthew Followill, who were looking at him with puzzled looks on their face. Thom's eyes met his and Jonny instantly knew what they were saying. They were saying "if you dare tell him where I am, you won't get any for a month".

Jonny considered his option, trying to decide which one was worse. Keeping Chris company for ten minutes or going a full month without being allowed to go down on Thom.

"Wait! Chris! Don't go yet, I've got something to tell you!" Jonny exclaimed, holding Chris back by his sleeve.

Chris turned his attention back to Jonny with a radiant smile.

"Yes, Jonny? Haha, it's really funny, it's like I'm talking to my Jonny, it's weird, isn't it? Anyway, yes?"

"Er... I..." Jonny tried to think of something to say. He wasn't good at improvisation, he had told Thom a thousand times not to put him in such situations.

"Er... you look very nice tonight" Jonny blurted out, causing Chris to raise his eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, it's that outfit, it goes with your latest album right? Well, um, it looks good. Very..."

Chris looked flattered. He tilted his head to one side and his cheeks blushed slightly.

"Thank you Jonny. You look great yourself, you know. I've always loved your hair. It's amazing... Can I touch it?"

Jonny mentally cringed again. He wanted to say no, but he glanced at Thom whose expression was still saying the same thing, and nodded.

"Erm, yeah, sure..."

Chris stepped closer and ran a hand through Jonny's hair. Then a second time. Then a third.

"It's even softer than I imagined" he purred, still smiling. Jonny glanced at Thom a third time, but he had disappeared. Jonny looked back at Chris, who was looking at him intently.

Oh no, Jonny thought, now he's making kissy lips at me. Well, at least he has shut the hell up, but...

Chris leaned in to whisper in Jonny's ear. "I'm okay Jonny, we can do this, I can tell you want it."

"Want... what?" Jonny said, puzzled.

"Come with me" Chris grabbed Jonny's hand and led him out of the main reception hall and to the men's restrooms, all made of marble sinks and golden taps.

"Wait, Chris, I don't think I..." Jonny said in an alarmed voice as Chris closed the door behind him.

"Shhh, it's okay..."

"But I-"

Jonny didn't get to finish his sentence. Chris seized Jonny's head with both hands and crashed his lips onto Jonny's and the latter felt the singer's tongue snake his way in Jonny's mouth before he could react. Jonny's mind raced. He didn't dare to push Chris away, first because he never dared to be mean to anyone, and because Thom's warning was still valid, as far as he knew.

He braced himself and reluctantly kissed Chris back. Encouraged, Chris pressed his whole body against Jonny's. His hands slipped from Jonny's head to his shoulders, worked their way down Jonny's back to finally clutch his arse firmly, making Jonny jump. Chris blindly interpreted it as a sign of Jonny's arousal and started grinding his hips into Jonny's.

Jonny thought he'd just thrown up a little in his mouth, but maybe he had this feeling because Chris was still in the process of licking Jonny's palate clean.

One of Chris's hands let go of Jonny, who was briefly relieved before realizing that Chris was in fact unbuckling his belt and fumbling with his trousers. Chris pulled away suddenly.

"Goddamnit!" he swore as the button of his trousers refused to open. "I never manage to open the damn thing. I don't know how you do it," he added, eying Jonny's crotch, "you've got like five buttons on yours!"

"Yeah," Jonny said, repressing his urge to stick his head under a tap and rinse his mouth, "it helps keeping people I don't want to sleep with away."

"Haha, that's a good plan" Chris laughed, and went back to kissing Jonny. He pulled away and kissed Jonny's jaw and neck, nibbling on the sensitive skin there, making Jonny moan quietly in spite of himself.

Chris suddenly grabbed Jonny's hand and pressed it to his own hard cock.

"Don't be shy Jonny," he whispered in his ear. "It's okay, I know the effect I have on people sometimes."

Jonny was dumbfounded. He mentally cursed at Thom and thought he'd have to find a way to get revenge on that evil little shit. Maybe he'd ask Colin if he could borrow his riding crop. He let Chris guide his hand inside his trousers and underwear, and Jonny flinched at the contact with Chris's hot flesh, annoyed at himself for being mildly aroused by the sensation.

Fuck, let's get over with this, Jonny decided suddenly. He sank to his knees and pulled Chris's cock out of his boxers, stroking him lightly. Jonny wetted his lips and wrapped them around the shaft, spreading the mix of saliva and precum on its whole length.

Chris tangled a hand in Jonny's hair and bit down on his clenched fist as Jonny sucked him in earnest.

"Oh god, Jonny..." he breathed with difficulty. He pulled Jonny's head towards him, thrusting his hips to match Jonny's movements. Jonny was concentrating all his efforts on making Chris come as quick as possible, but Chris seemed decided to last a bit longer.

"Jonny," he panted "don't- don't tell Thom about that, alright? I don't want him to think -oh God- I'm not interested in him or – Jesus! - or anything."

What the hell is he bloody thinking? Jonny thought as he kept working on Chris, swirling his tongue around his cock the way he knew drove Thom completely crazy. And why can't he ever shut up? Even when he's getting his cock sucked?

"Jonny, wait; I-" Chris suddenly pulled out of Jonny's mouth and came at this very moment, shooting semen on Jonny's cheek and lips.

"Oops! Hahaha, I'm sorry I didn't think I- haha, I thought I'd have time to thrust back and come in your mouth. I'm an idiot" he laughed.

Jonny glared at him as he got up and reached for something to wipe his face. Well, at least he didn't have to swallow it.

"How do you feel now, babe?" Chris asked, smiling fondly at Jonny as he zipped himself up.

"Wonderful. A dream came true" Jonny replied sarcastically.

"We should head back, the ceremony is about to begin" Chris stated, unsurprisingly not noticing Jonny's tone of voice. "You're so going to win. And if we do - but I'd be surprised - I'll dedicate the award to you" he said cheerfully.

"Thrilling".

Chris winked at him and exited the bathroom, Jonny on his heels. Yes, he thought, Thom was going to pay for that.


The End.

[Twisted mind]

*dies*

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quarante-deux;2696229


Jonny held out a hand, but Chris ignored it and threw his arm around Jonny, pulling him in a bone-crushing hug. He buried his nose in Jonny's hair and inhaled deeply.

---

What a CREEP!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quarante-deux;2696229

Jonny, who was looking for Thom himself, spotted him crouched between Paul McCartney and Matthew Followill, who were looking at him with puzzled looks on their face. Thom's eyes met his and Jonny instantly knew what they were saying. They were saying "if you dare tell him where I am, you won't get any for a month".

---

That mental image, ROFL

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quarante-deux;2696229

"Thank you Jonny. You look great yourself, you know. I've always loved your hair. It's amazing... Can I touch it?"

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quarante-deux;2696229

Jonny thought he'd just thrown up a little in his mouth, but maybe he had this feeling because Chris was still in the process of licking Jonny's palate clean.

---

Poor Jonny

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quarante-deux;2696229

What the hell is he bloody thinking? Jonny thought as he kept working on Chris, swirling his tongue around his cock the way he knew drove Thom completely crazy. And why can't he ever shut up? Even when he's getting his cock sucked?

---

AHA! So also Thom knows Jonny's swirling tricks!

[quarante-deux]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Twisted mind;2696282
*dies*
AHA! So also Thom knows Jonny's swirling tricks!

---

'course he does. They fuck everyday, twice on Sundays.

[viva la yes]

My hero!

[quarante-deux]

Who me? Awww. ^_^

[Pseudonym]

guy sex

[acid novae]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 2732;2696341
guy sex

---

Do you have a problem with Guy Love?

[Pseudonym]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by acid novae;2696351
Do you have a problem with Guy Love?

---

yes, it's narsty


I prefer women love

[acid novae]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 2732;2696354
yes, it's narsty


I prefer women love

---

And what, pray tell, is so repellent about it?

[quarante-deux]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 2732;2696354
yes, it's narsty


I prefer women love

---

So if I understand correctly you're a homophobe. Homophobes need to die.

[Pseudonym]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by quarante-deux;2696364
So if I understand correctly you're a homophobe. Homophobes need to die.

---

I'm not a homophobe, you need to get a sense of humor

[viva la yes]

As far as I'm aware there aren't any women in Coldplay.

[quarante-deux]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 2732;2696369
I'm not a homophobe, you need to get a sense of humor

---

And you need to be careful when you talk. Your irony was absolutely invisible.

[Cobalt]

*meanders in*

Now what have we here, hm?