Sarcastic Sayings

Sammie · 21-08-2003, 09:46 AM

>

> >>>Sarcastic Sayings

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just
sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

I don't get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but
eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Kettercat · 21-08-2003, 11:04 AM

So true, so true.

CityandColour · 21-08-2003, 11:27 AM

hmmm...

Hosie · 21-08-2003, 11:50 AM

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason"

lolol.

President Bush - "Its clearly a book, it has pictures in it".

^True!!!

fifi · 21-08-2003, 03:59 PM

"amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic"

i like that!!!

Sally_ · 22-08-2003, 02:56 AM

tee hee! so funny!

lol...man...that sounds weird when you say it in a high squeeky voice...

Manders · 22-08-2003, 11:17 PM

About A Girl · 22-08-2003, 11:24 PM

that is HILARIOUS!

fifi · 22-08-2003, 11:26 PM

*look for the bear neccessities the simple bear neccessities, forget about your worries and your strife*

DrPolitik · 22-08-2003, 11:29 PM

yeah, and i want a gold plated toilet but its just not on the cards baby

fifi · 22-08-2003, 11:31 PM

Sammie · 23-08-2003, 10:43 AM

glad it made you smile people

I have another one although I might leave it a while...

badlydrawngirl · 23-08-2003, 01:33 PM

hehe I'm the most sarcastic person I know, so I like this thread

Sammie · 23-08-2003, 01:36 PM

hahaha my best mate is the most sarcastic person I know, with me a close second...

badlydrawngirl · 23-08-2003, 01:46 PM

good good. join the sarcastic club

21-08-2003, 09:46 AM	#1
Sammie Coldplayer Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 8,570 Location: Nottingham Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Sarcastic Sayings > > >>>Sarcastic Sayings Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path. Anything free is worth what you pay for it. Indecision is the key to flexibility. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. If it ain't broke, fix it till it is. I don't get even, I get odder. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. I am a nutritional overachiever. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours. I am having an out of money experience. I plan on living forever. So far, so good. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. A day without sunshine is like night. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though. Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. Age doesn't always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing. __________________ . . blee . .

21-08-2003, 11:04 AM	#2
Kettercat Coldplayer Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,891 Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	So true, so true. __________________ c u n t . http://stray-kitten.net/eshop/ =) *avatar made by 07fahrenheit

21-08-2003, 11:50 AM	#4
Hosie Coldplayer Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 9 Location: Image Island... Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason" lolol. President Bush - "Its clearly a book, it has pictures in it". ^True!!! __________________ [quotation awaiting government authorisation]

21-08-2003, 03:59 PM	#5
fifi what's your beef? Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 28,035 My Mood: Location: dublin Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	"amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic" i like that!!! __________________ cow smurfersJoMiFiKiRenAli Race your unwanted CD Cases! Races held every 3rd Saturday in the month at your local race course. Only clear plastic cases - no cover allowed for safety reasons and no one allowed within 3 miles of the course once racing has started

22-08-2003, 11:17 PM	#7
Manders Coldplayer Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 19,695 Location: let me stand next to your fire! Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	__________________ In the streets the children screamed The lovers cried and the poets dreamed But not a word was spoken The church bells all were broken And the three men I admire most The father son and the holy ghost they caught the last train for the coast The day the music died.

21-08-2003, 11:27 AM	#3
CityandColour Coldplayer Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 15,601 Location: The land of Michigan Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	hmmm...

22-08-2003, 02:56 AM	#6
Sally_ Coldplayer Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 2,338 Location: Toronto Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	tee hee! so funny! lol...man...that sounds weird when you say it in a high squeeky voice...

22-08-2003, 11:24 PM	#8
About A Girl Bitchessss Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 7,087 Location: the ghetto Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	that is HILARIOUS! __________________ Pour une fille d\'Ottawa Grandit a Sainte-Foy Et qui un jour tomba Pour un chanteur populaire Grandi en Algérie Assez fucké merci Et qui lui dit adieu Je repars fair ma vie I lost my baby, I lost my darling, I lost my friends, I lost my mind http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79...tonight/76.gif ♥←Do it.. Coco nip

22-08-2003, 11:26 PM	#9
fifi what's your beef? Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 28,035 My Mood: Location: dublin Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	look for the bear neccessities the simple bear neccessities, forget about your worries and your strife __________________ cow smurfersJoMiFiKiRenAli Race your unwanted CD Cases! Races held every 3rd Saturday in the month at your local race course. Only clear plastic cases - no cover allowed for safety reasons and no one allowed within 3 miles of the course once racing has started

22-08-2003, 11:29 PM	#10
DrPolitik Coldplayer Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,693 Location: Ruling with an Iron Fist in MoodyBastardLand Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	yeah, and i want a gold plated toilet but its just not on the cards baby __________________ threadjacker \"Only sick music makes money today\" resident wise-ass don\'t join groups Productivity Blows \"Be incomprehensible. If they can\'t understand, they can\'t disagree.\" \"My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.\" \"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy\" \"Rarely do people communicate; they just take turns talking.\" invalid_session

22-08-2003, 11:31 PM	#11
fifi what's your beef? Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 28,035 My Mood: Location: dublin Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	__________________ cow smurfersJoMiFiKiRenAli Race your unwanted CD Cases! Races held every 3rd Saturday in the month at your local race course. Only clear plastic cases - no cover allowed for safety reasons and no one allowed within 3 miles of the course once racing has started

23-08-2003, 10:43 AM	#12
Sammie Coldplayer Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 8,570 Location: Nottingham Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	glad it made you smile people I have another one although I might leave it a while... __________________ . . blee . .

23-08-2003, 01:33 PM	#13
badlydrawngirl do I know you? Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 13,076 Location: London Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	hehe I'm the most sarcastic person I know, so I like this thread __________________ I'm on a roll this time ::Charlie::

23-08-2003, 01:36 PM	#14
Sammie Coldplayer Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 8,570 Location: Nottingham Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	hahaha my best mate is the most sarcastic person I know, with me a close second... __________________ . . blee . .

23-08-2003, 01:46 PM	#15
badlydrawngirl do I know you? Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 13,076 Location: London Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	good good. join the sarcastic club __________________ I'm on a roll this time ::Charlie::

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