Do I deserve a second chance?

[Jack]

Basically, I lied.

About one thing. It was a white lie that I said before I thought this person and myself had any type of future, to make them, well, I thought it'd make them think more of me. I think it probably would have made a difference now but so much has changed that the subject of the lie isn't an issue at all. It's the fact that I broke trust.

I came clean yesterday. It was driving me crazy. Everyone's lied at some point and some times you think you're fine with it and it's harmful and sometimes you think it's gonna come back to bite you. Well this has been stopping me sleeping for months.

The problem is whether it's the only lie I've told. I can say, to a board full of people I don't know, that it was. The single only stupid lie I told. I have a reason for telling it, which I'd rather not disclose here... but it's a valid reason (note: reason, not excuse) and this person knows the reason, and understands the reason (to a certain degree).

I know the vast vast majority of people on this board don't know me at all, or anything about me, but I think those that do can see by the fact I'm posting a public confession of this, it's really affected me.

I'm happy I've put it all out there, off my chest and mind, but it's risking it all, really. It really was just one stupid mistake that I won't let happen again.

[Mimixxx]

Depends what the lie was Jack, but if it was harmless and was told with good intentions I'd say you should be forgiven.

[Ms Magpie]

If you did it with only good intention and had a really good reason for doing so, you should deserve a second chance.
I assume you didn't want to hurt that person or anything like that.

[Jack]

It was a harmless lie. I just told it cause I knew what this person was like and I thought if I was honest about something so insignificant (don't ask what it was, just trust me that it was insignificant) this person would have a lower opinion of me for no good reason. Plus I never thought for a moment that I'd talk to this person as much as I do now. I never thought they'd be such a significant part of my life. Since then this person has changed a lot, to a point where the subject of the lie doesn't matter and my honest situation isn't an issue.


In any case, I did get a second chance. I just thought I'd start a discussion, really. It's nice to get it out somewhere I can be truthfully judged by people who don't know me for what I did.

Surely someone else has been on the forgiving side of something like this? Or on the need to be forgiven side like me?

[Grace]

hmmm, jack.
i know you're a good guy and i bet you wouldn't lie without any reasons.
since it's a white lie i wouldn't even hype it that much.
i mean ... we all lie and everyone deserves a second chance.
i don't know what it was about, but i'm sure it was not a big deal, right?

well, from what i read ... it's okay to me to lie to someone to make them like oneself better. it's no bad intention. it's just that the truth would change the other person's opinion a bit.

[Black Rose]

You deserve a 2nd chance

[MrLick]

I say if someone lies, they should be burned at the stake!

[bart]

Jack you need to tell us what the lie is.
Is it about your age. ?

[TracieMorgan]

I've been on both sides of this, and I would definitely give you another chance. In future, it's best to stick with the truth, for exactly the reasons you've mentioned. You never know when someone might become a significant part of your life, and if you're honest from the start, you don't have to go back and cover or uncover lies.

And it sounds like a schoolroom speech, but it really is true that if someone likes you based on a lie, they don't like/know the real you. If they genuinely like you, they'll be ok with the truth.

[LiquidSky]

I say you deserve a second chance,Jack.

[TracieMorgan]

Hmmm...I see the person that voted against a second chance didn't post a reason. It's a public poll you know...you've been outed r.c.!

[bart]

What can be seen as a small white lie. Can sometimes be a dirty big one dependent on the circumstances !

[anna111]

Well it seems like what happened was you lied about something about this person ages ago when you weren't really friends, but now you're friends and this person found out about that. If that's the case I think you shoud totally get a second chance, no question about it, because that was in the past and it doesn't matter anymore.

[MrMagpie]

I think you should be given a second chance. Especially where you have told the person you lied and apologized. If you are genuinely sorry and don't have a habit of lying I think the person should definitely give you a second chance.
Unless they have a perfect record and have never lied than I don't see how they couldn't.

[Jack]

The lie was anything like my age. I'm not gonna say what it was 'cause it's about me personally, but it was a white lie, on a what is now unimportant subject.

Someone above me said that if it was before I was friends with this person. That's exactly what it was. In the first week of meeting them, and by time I realised what I'd done and that it could hurt our relationship in the end, I was too scared to admit it.

Also, this person has lied, but white lies only. As everyone I'm sure does. This whole thing wasn't about what I'd lied about but that I'd lied. Trust, etc. It was my only lie. I'm completely truthful about everything. It was such a harmless thing in my mind but at the time I was through a bit of a unconfident patch so I felt like I had to bend the truth slightly to make myself look better.

I have learned from it though. I'm a much more confident person and I know that it's better to get this sorted now before too late.

I'm fortunate cause it wasn't too late. I was given my second chance and I intend to make sure I don't ever need a third. Thanks for the support though. I'd like to know why the two people voted for no, although I think bart explained his reason somewhat above, because I didn't really think I deserved it myself, I was just desperate for the chance.