Perfection?

[maiu]

I feel like making a statement

Why is it that women chase the perfect body?
We're willing to work our ass off at the gym sweating like pigs, starve to lose weight to look...normal? Why is being skinny and perfect the standard for beauty and even normality?

If you think about it, we all want a nice ass and flat stomach, but in reality women who have them are a minority compared to US who don't...so why the hell do we try to achieve that? Wouldn't it be better to accept ourselves the way we are instead of being constantly trying to be like...well...(almost) nobody is?

I'm not saying that we shouldn't go to the gym or diet or lose weight, but I believe it should be because WE want to, not because we HAVE to in order to get the world to like us, or to get a better job (a debate for another thread, why does beauty counts when it comes to a job), or to find love (blind my ass!)

Anyway, hope I made my point.

[TracieMorgan]

Well said!!

WHat breaks my heart the most is how the Beauty Business sells lies to teenaged girls...tells them they have to be thin and pretty to matter. We start teaching kids this stuff at earlier and earlier ages, and it leads to all kinds of eating disorders, addictions, low self esteem etc. I like having a nice figure, but I don't feel I HAVE to.

Good statement, Maia!

[Mojo Pin]

Thanks god for another topic to discuss! I havent seen a decent one sicne reillo vanished

But yeah i know what you're talking about. In this shallow society, women follow some standard of beauty which is to be skinny and have the perfect body but has anyone seen those ultra skinny unhealthy models on tv? man, I dont find that sexy at all its more like scary how some women put their life in danger to try to look that . Part of the problem is caused by us guys , we've been imposed a beauty patter to seek in women and if we dont find that then we ignore her so that woman is forced to try to fit in and therefore lose weight, get fake boobs, etc just to get the attention of a shallow guy ( yeah , we guys are assholes most of the time not all of us though) and that shouldnt be the case. If you wanna change for your own decision then go for it, not cos you wanna be accepted by others , a guy should like you for what you are not for what you look like and if that's not the case then it isnt worth it.

[ClearAsCrystal]

I don't really have the answer for that except not having your self esteem in check. I mean, if you really worry about what you look like according to the eyes of others, then you will do whatever it takes to "be beautiful".

Like I have said before... If you are beautiful in the eyes of the people in your world who REALLY matter and who you really love, then nothing else should matter.

I don't condone looking good and being in shape..no way. And I agree, it should be done to make yourself happy. When I put on make-up in the morning..I don't pick the colors to please so and so or to get photos flashed of me. I pick colors and put it on to satisfy me. I think it's actually a skill and an art to do your make-up well. I am proud to know how to do things like that well. When I exercise, it's to make my body look the way I want it to look. Not to look good in anyone else's eyes. For the most part, I cover up pretty well those parts I work out the most. I just do it because yeah, I catch my reflection in the mirror after a hot shower and I like to look at me and be totally at peace with what I eat and how much I exercise. It's for my satisfaction.

That is how it should be for everyone!

And if it were like that, I think half of life's problems for people would vanish.

[maiu]

One more thing: those beauty patterns apply almost everywhere. I think it's fucking ridiculous that the job market uses them as well. I mean, we've always been told that as long as we study and have the will to do something, we can get it, and now an asshole of a boss tells me I have to get on the scale before I get a job??? (this is a metaphor of course)
RIDICULOUS

[ClearAsCrystal]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Knight Of Cydonia;2040374
Thanks god for another topic to discuss! I havent seen a decent one sicne reillo vanished

But yeah i know what you're talking about. In this shallow society, women follow some standard of beauty which is to be skinny and have the perfect body but has anyone seen those ultra skinny unhealthy models on tv? man, I dont find that sexy at all its more like scary how some women put their life in danger to try to look that . Part of the problem is caused by us guys , we've been imposed a beauty patter to seek in women and if we dont find that then we ignore her so that woman is forced to try to fit in and therefore lose weight, get fake boobs, etc just to get the attention of a shallow guy ( yeah , we guys are assholes most of the time not all of us though) and that shouldnt be the case. If you wanna change for your own decision then go for it, not cos you wanna be accepted by others , a guy should like you for what you are not for what you look like and if that's not the case then it isnt worth it.

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guys are assholes sometimes.

But the crazy thing is, the majority of the REAL men in this world can admit to loving those womanly curves that magazine photographers seem to despise now a days.

I love them too. I like to see what I consider a normal girl..with that hour glass figure and with nice plump arms and shapely legs. It just looks healthy and right. The way a real woman should look like, you know?

It's actually a small percentage of men that like the skinny girl look. I mean, they like to look at it in magazines and movies and tv like that...but when it comes to the real girl they love on at night, I think they rather would prefer that curvy lady with slightly generous amounts of skin. So it must confuse women when the see guys attracted to those skinny women in movies...when in reality real men want curvy women. THAT might be why they strive so much to look like those commercialized women. Because seemingly, men seem to like it.

At least, from experience and in inquiring with my close friends. Not all guys and not even a large amount of guys like that sickly skinny figure. I mean, I always used to tease my sister because she was and still is 100 pounds. She 21 and is five feet 7 inches and has a figure like this >>> || (she eats well, it just happens to be really hard for her to gain weight) anyway..I used to tease her because when I would hug her, I felt her bones stick out more and it was kinda uncomfortable to hug her for long because she was too skinny!
So I am sure guys MUST feel the same way.

Most guys say they like their women to wear little or not make-up, have great curves and a full body.

So I don't really know why women strive to be the opposite of that.

[Mojo Pin]

Haha yeah we really are and very shallow too, i know i was but i changed with the years

I dont really know about other guys but i like girls with curves, that's the way a real women should be but guess the beuty stereotype is way ahead now. Every single girl i know wants to be super skinny or already is. Just to put an example , my cousins who are around 16 or 17 are like this too >>> || They're so skinny that i feel i'm gonna break them in 2 if i hug them And dont even get me started with the whole make-up crap they put on their faces, they look like clowns sometimes but i never say a word cos i dont wanna sound mean. I mean they're so young, they dont need so much make up, i really think they'd look better with no make up at all and with a few more pouds but then again they go with the flow so meh.

[alyssa]

I think people should aim to be healthy, which sometimes requires you to go to the gym and work your ass off (haha, quite literally) and eat less. But, looking good is just icing on the cake. It shouldn't be the main focus of losing weight to just look good and such, IMO.

I'm trying to lose weight... cuz I'm a slow mofo on my softball team, and I gotta make the football team next year... hehe.

[Lera]

I kinda like the way I look. Of course, I have been worrying about my body, hair, face, nails, eyes... like, everything, when I was maybe 13-14 years old. And now I just don't give a fuck, I'm fine. Could be worse lol.

If I were a man I'd definitely prefer women who're not too skinny, like, with some meat on their bones.
But if someone is thin from nature - what the hell, it's all for good.
The point is that if you love the way you look everybody else will, it's really so. It's just sad when people don't understand that the great thing about people is that we're all completely different and at the same time we're all kinda similar.

So what's the point of becoming exactly te same?.. I really don't see any.

But if you can't love yourself until you're 90-60-90 - go for it. Do it, starve, do sports, whatever, do it if you can't feel good about yourself without it. You're a freak in that case though.

[mandymcnabb]

What baffles me is, how I have so much self-esteem, and my twiggy friends feel fat and what not. I just don't understand.
The only time I really work out (besides in my weight and aerobics class) is when I'm feeling fat. I couldn't be bothered worrying about my waistline, its when I feel sluggish and lazy that I'm bothered.

I think thats how all people should think.

[Gitta Rensolo]

I think it has to do with age......yes with each individual but also with age....I only say this now because of my own experience (could be wrong though....)...

I'm a girl with curves and sometimes I get the impression that guys in my age do not really feel attracted to me.....but when it comes to older guys I feel they rather feel atrracted to me ...sometimes it seems that guys who are older than me rather pay attention to a great charisma and not to a perfect body...( I think I only know the worng guys who are in my age...)

but somehow I think my view is just wrong....

however....there was a real jerk at a bar some months ago....he always tried to chat me up....I was there with my friend......she has a perfect body....
what he said to me probably reflects majority of the guys: " Maybe your friend has the perfect body.....but screw that.....you've got the charisma...and this is attractive!"...haha although he was a jerk he really flattered me....


I talked about this topic with my best friend as well.......we've got another good friend.....everyone finds her sexy (because of he rperfect body.....yes...small ass....big boobs...flat stomach...)...and she knows that! When we went to Holland all the guys paid attention to her (ok they were either high or drunk or both...haha)......gah this was annoying me....and my best-friend as well.....so we talked about it...and came to the conclusion that none of these guys would start a relationship with her and rather take us than her....maybe it has just to do with reality...I think women with curves and weak parts at their body reflect reality......perfect bodies are dreams in most of the cases....and I think a dream should stay a dream...for guys as well......I can't imagine that the majority of the guys would prefer their dream women to the nice and cute woman next door....only some jerks maybe....


so now that I've written that.....why do I still worry about these things?

[Darlene_Ihnfsa]

good thread... the main problem with teens , is that adverts told them they must be thin, but at that age they must get fatter to grow, and is hard to deal this thing... enterprises shouldn't do this things... but they still make extremely thin dolls or cartoon characters... i realized recently that they do extremely thin cartoons and toys even for boys

and maiu, you are right, business associate that we must be beauty to work in their entreprises or not. so them force women to do hard things only to get a job. :consused: is sad thinking that at this time, some people keeps forcing other people to follow those unnecessary topics, they must contract women for their CV or studies and stuff like that, objectives things, and not judge them for subjective things like beauty.

i think that parents should prepare their kids to be strong this days, so they won't believe those stupid ideas that are shown all the day on tv like: get slim, get thin, be like me... i didn't believed those things when i was a child or a teen, but is not easy, becasue some other students will repeat you those slogans again and again...

[maiu]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ariadnasquire;2040788

i think that parents should prepare their kids to be strong this days, so they won't believe those stupid ideas that are shown all the day on tv like: get slim, get thin, be like me... i didn't believed those things when i was a child or a teen, but is not easy, becasue some other students will repeat you those slogans again and again...

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That's a good point. A good self-esteem starts at home with supporting parents telling you that it's okay to be different and original, but maybe parents these days are also being trapped by the media and more or less start that twisted process on a kid's mind that later turns into low self-esteem, addictions, eating disorders, etc.

[Darlene_Ihnfsa]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by maiu;2040891
That's a good point. A good self-esteem starts at home with supporting parents telling you that it's okay to be different and original, but maybe parents these days are also being trapped by the media and more or less start that twisted process on a kid's mind that later turns into low self-esteem, addictions, eating disorders, etc.

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i noticied that that's the main problem today, specially if we know that society today is very competitive, so you must be strong to deal it.

i'm lucky with my parents they tought me those things since i was very young. so i never mind what people can say about me... i do what i think i must do, although i recognize that sometimes i'm wrong but i try to repare the problems i can cause. i try not to make sad or annoy other people.
my main rule is: don't do to others what you don't want others do to you.
i always was bad at lunch... i eat so slow... although i eat everything i mean, fruits, vegetables, fish, meat...

but although we can have strong personalities... there are still big problems for teens and girls, like the job problem for woman, you must look beautiful to get a job... and this thing counts more than if you have proper studies for the task or not..

[maiu]

It's our parent's job to encourage us to show our true personality and to be strong in tough times, but as I said some of them are practically destroying their children's mind by pushing them in the wrong places, like weight instead of studies or fashion over friends.