The 50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music

Ondes Martenot · 03-05-2006, 09:52 PM

...

5. Ecstasy
As if convincing countless innocents to spend nights crushed into dilapidated warehouses, waving glowsticks and bouncing along to the same monotonous groove wasn’t bad enough, ecstasy also taught a generation of dance-music auteurs that songwriting was as easy as looping a beat, then taking a nap.

4. Neverland Ranch
It’s not as though everything was hunky-dory for MJ before he moved here. But somehow, the star’s retreat into a llama-stocked, Ferris-wheel-equipped, 2,600-acre Southern California funny farm in 1988 didn’t help his psyche. Wacko Jacko may since have emerged from his rustic Xanadu — dangling a baby off a balcony here, facing child-molestation charges there — and moved to Bahrain, but the great pop star he used to be has been lost forever in this multimillion-dollar shrine to childhood.

3. “The Star-spangled banner”
Here’s an idea: Let’s have the theme song for the world’s biggest and most diverse democracy be: 1) boring; 2) violently militaristic; and 3) next to impossible to sing. Not enough? OK, now let’s bring in Roseanne Barr to perform. She’s too busy? Get me William Hung!

2. Suge Knight
Here’s some advice: If Suge Knight offers to bail you out of jail, wait for a better offer. After doing this for Tupac Shakur, the bullying head of Death Row records molded a talented 24-year-old rapper into a doomed gangsta cartoon, fanned a preposterous coastal rap feud (fuck the Bering Strait, too, while we’re at it!) and steered his young star on a confrontational course that ended in a bullet-riddled BMW 750. Whether or not Biggie Smalls’s subsequent murder was related, Knight drafted a tragedy hip-hop never got over.

1. Kids Today!
Back in our day, we didn’t have any of yer fancy iPods and ringtones and downloads. We didn’t have the luxury and convenience of your scrotum-rings and your World Wide Web logs. When we wanted to steal the new Uriah Heep album, we couldn’t just troll the Internets for it, we had to do it the old-fashioned way — by hiking to the store (uphill, both ways) and shoving 12” of vinyl under our sweaters (which we had to knit ourselves). That’s why you sniveling whipper-snappers don’t appreciate the real value of music. Or Uriah Heep. Now get the hell off our lawn!

full list:
http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?id=1913

beckhamcrosses · 03-05-2006, 10:39 PM

I think Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart was pretty uncalled for, I blame all Americans for that.

Vanilla Ice would be second on the list too.

(Word to your mother)

mc_squared · 03-05-2006, 11:28 PM

Victoria Beckham - definitely!!

an_cat · 03-05-2006, 11:30 PM

Wow. This list is absolutely idiotic.

39. AIDS
Although it was responsible for many deaths (Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E among them) and inspired one of the most insipid hits in the past three decades (“That’s What Friends Are For”), the most significant musical damage done by the AIDS virus came with the subsequent demonization of sex and drugs, two ingredients without which rock & roll become practically pointless — if not impossible.

How not funny. Idiots. *shakes head*

putainfromage · 03-05-2006, 11:39 PM

you can't put tatu in the same grouping as indigo girls and melissa etheridge wtf. i agree with 42, 28, 24, 22, and 12. number one should be music magazines.

an_cat · 03-05-2006, 11:41 PM

Yeah, number one should be people thinking that their soap box entitles them to speaking for "everyone".

berrywoman · 04-05-2006, 12:30 AM

Lil'Jon and crunk music.

Ambergris · 04-05-2006, 12:34 AM

When it got merchandised. I cannot stop quoting Nietzsche now:

"Only sick, music makes money today"

berrywoman · 04-05-2006, 12:35 AM

^ so true!

SrfSnwColdplay · 04-05-2006, 12:53 AM

Rap.

crawlinwithin · 04-05-2006, 01:32 AM

what i don't understand is in their other poll "50 worst artists ever" they put Emerson, Lake, and Palmer as number 2. What the hell were they thinking?!

KM · 04-05-2006, 01:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by an_cat
39. AIDS
Although it was responsible for many deaths (Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E among them) and inspired one of the most insipid hits in the past three decades (“That’s What Friends Are For”), the most significant musical damage done by the AIDS virus came with the subsequent demonization of sex and drugs, two ingredients without which rock & roll become practically pointless — if not impossible.

I think the listmaker just told me I should be able to share needles and bang a dozen male prostitutes.

twistedlogic149 · 04-05-2006, 11:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SrfSnwColdplay
Rap.

Amen.

idsadmin · 06-05-2006, 12:12 AM

Coldplay.

Ambergris · 06-05-2006, 12:32 AM

^ Haha

Yeah, I agree in the rap thing.

03-05-2006, 09:52 PM	#1
Ondes Martenot Coldplayer Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 16,686 Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	The 50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music ... 5. Ecstasy As if convincing countless innocents to spend nights crushed into dilapidated warehouses, waving glowsticks and bouncing along to the same monotonous groove wasn’t bad enough, ecstasy also taught a generation of dance-music auteurs that songwriting was as easy as looping a beat, then taking a nap. 4. Neverland Ranch It’s not as though everything was hunky-dory for MJ before he moved here. But somehow, the star’s retreat into a llama-stocked, Ferris-wheel-equipped, 2,600-acre Southern California funny farm in 1988 didn’t help his psyche. Wacko Jacko may since have emerged from his rustic Xanadu — dangling a baby off a balcony here, facing child-molestation charges there — and moved to Bahrain, but the great pop star he used to be has been lost forever in this multimillion-dollar shrine to childhood. 3. “The Star-spangled banner” Here’s an idea: Let’s have the theme song for the world’s biggest and most diverse democracy be: 1) boring; 2) violently militaristic; and 3) next to impossible to sing. Not enough? OK, now let’s bring in Roseanne Barr to perform. She’s too busy? Get me William Hung! 2. Suge Knight Here’s some advice: If Suge Knight offers to bail you out of jail, wait for a better offer. After doing this for Tupac Shakur, the bullying head of Death Row records molded a talented 24-year-old rapper into a doomed gangsta cartoon, fanned a preposterous coastal rap feud (fuck the Bering Strait, too, while we’re at it!) and steered his young star on a confrontational course that ended in a bullet-riddled BMW 750. Whether or not Biggie Smalls’s subsequent murder was related, Knight drafted a tragedy hip-hop never got over. 1. Kids Today! Back in our day, we didn’t have any of yer fancy iPods and ringtones and downloads. We didn’t have the luxury and convenience of your scrotum-rings and your World Wide Web logs. When we wanted to steal the new Uriah Heep album, we couldn’t just troll the Internets for it, we had to do it the old-fashioned way — by hiking to the store (uphill, both ways) and shoving 12” of vinyl under our sweaters (which we had to knit ourselves). That’s why you sniveling whipper-snappers don’t appreciate the real value of music. Or Uriah Heep. Now get the hell off our lawn! full list: http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?id=1913

03-05-2006, 10:39 PM	#2
beckhamcrosses New Zooland Coldplayer Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 431 Location: New Zealand Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I think Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart was pretty uncalled for, I blame all Americans for that. Vanilla Ice would be second on the list too. (Word to your mother) __________________ //U2 - Vertigo 2006 Sydney - Melbourne - Auckland - November\\ and the rest . . . COLDPLAY Auckland 12/08/2003 Brisbane 24/06/2006 // Auckland 18/03/2009; Auckland 10/11/2012 Anyone GOT AUDIO??!!! SHARE MAN!

03-05-2006, 11:28 PM	#3
mc_squared Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 67,519 My Mood: Location: Wherever life takes me Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Victoria Beckham - definitely!! __________________ LIFE ISN'T MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY Be yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. Work to live - don't live to work...................... Age is purely a state of mind! Don't waste your time on jealousy. Success is a journey, NOT a destination. Life is a marathon, NOT a sprint! http://www.generationterrorists.com/...sunscreen.html

03-05-2006, 11:39 PM	#5
putainfromage © ur vagina 2007 Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 3,386 Location: Seattle, WA Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	you can't put tatu in the same grouping as indigo girls and melissa etheridge wtf. i agree with 42, 28, 24, 22, and 12. number one should be music magazines. __________________ kelli youtube.flickr.last.fm and it won't be a pretty sight

04-05-2006, 12:30 AM	#7
berrywoman Guy-a-licious Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 27,692 My Mood: Location: New York Cares Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Lil'Jon and crunk music. __________________ http://www.last.fm/user/berrychen/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://nyc-specialist.tumblr.com/

03-05-2006, 11:30 PM	#4
an_cat Coldplayer Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 10,405 Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Wow. This list is absolutely idiotic. 39. AIDS Although it was responsible for many deaths (Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E among them) and inspired one of the most insipid hits in the past three decades (“That’s What Friends Are For”), the most significant musical damage done by the AIDS virus came with the subsequent demonization of sex and drugs, two ingredients without which rock & roll become practically pointless — if not impossible. How not funny. Idiots. shakes head

03-05-2006, 11:41 PM	#6
an_cat Coldplayer Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 10,405 Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Yeah, number one should be people thinking that their soap box entitles them to speaking for "everyone".

04-05-2006, 12:34 AM	#8
Ambergris Coldplayer Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 17,999 My Mood: Location: off to nowhere! Gender: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	When it got merchandised. I cannot stop quoting Nietzsche now: "Only sick, music makes money today" __________________ No single thing abides, but all things flow. Fragment to fragment clings, and thus they grow Until we know and name them. Then by degrees they change and are no more The things we know. - Titus Lucretius Carus

04-05-2006, 12:35 AM	#9
berrywoman Guy-a-licious Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 27,692 My Mood: Location: New York Cares Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	^ so true! __________________ http://www.last.fm/user/berrychen/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://nyc-specialist.tumblr.com/

04-05-2006, 12:53 AM	#10
SrfSnwColdplay Coldplayer Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 707 Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Rap. __________________ And you don't know that you've been born Can't see the calm until the storm Can't tell your right side from your wrong Can't see the wave you're riding on

04-05-2006, 01:32 AM	#11
crawlinwithin Yergerbombs Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,367 My Mood: Location: Entangled In My Own Dreams Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	what i don't understand is in their other poll "50 worst artists ever" they put Emerson, Lake, and Palmer as number 2. What the hell were they thinking?! __________________ Twitter: @jyergs ....follow me? Mon the Fratellis!

04-05-2006, 01:59 AM	#12
KM Mega piranha Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 9,494 My Mood: Location: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Gender: Country: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Quote: Originally Posted by an_cat 39. AIDS Although it was responsible for many deaths (Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E among them) and inspired one of the most insipid hits in the past three decades (“That’s What Friends Are For”), the most significant musical damage done by the AIDS virus came with the subsequent demonization of sex and drugs, two ingredients without which rock & roll become practically pointless — if not impossible. I think the listmaker just told me I should be able to share needles and bang a dozen male prostitutes. __________________ artz

04-05-2006, 11:35 PM	#13
twistedlogic149 Coldplayer Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,228 Location: NC Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Quote: Originally Posted by SrfSnwColdplay Rap. Amen. __________________ The name... is Will. http://imagegen.last.fm/minimalDarkR...edlogic149.gif Currently: playing Mass Effect, reading The Dark Tower series, listening to "Absolution" by Muse

06-05-2006, 12:12 AM	#14
idsadmin Coldplayer Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 307 Location: In my room designing Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Coldplay. __________________ http://www.dreamlinestudio.com/ksig.gif

06-05-2006, 12:32 AM	#15
Ambergris Coldplayer Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 17,999 My Mood: Location: off to nowhere! Gender: Chat posts: 0 Thanks given: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	^ Haha Yeah, I agree in the rap thing. __________________ No single thing abides, but all things flow. Fragment to fragment clings, and thus they grow Until we know and name them. Then by degrees they change and are no more The things we know. - Titus Lucretius Carus

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