This is not funny

[illuvcoldplay]

http://www.gq.com/entertainment/music/201106/coldplay-album-every-teardrop-is-a-waterfall-tracks


GQ Exclusive: The (Totally Serious) Tracklist For Coldplay's New Album
Don't ask us how we got it, but we did: The song titles to Chris Martin and co.'s new album. And you'll only find them here

Last week, Coldplay unveiled the first single off their eagerly awaited new album: "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall"—an unmistakably Coldplay-ish name for a song. And yet it left us wanting more. So the music sleuths here at GQ went digging, and thanks to an anonymous source in the Goop camp, we managed to unearth the remainder of the track list for the new album. Here you go, Coldplaymates: every name of every song off the so-far-untitled new album. A GQ exclusive**.

Track 1: Your Love is A Raw Quinoa Salad

Track 2: Wouldn't This Make a Better United Airlines Theme Song Than Gershwin?

Track 3: Every Teardrop is a Waterfall

Track 4: I Thought Of This on a Gulfstream VII

Track 5: She's Never Gone Down On Me (But Every Night I Comb Her Hair)

Track 6: Here's A Song For Hotel Lobbies

Track 7: When I'm at Pinkberry

Track 8: My Wife Only Orgasms While On Horseback

Track 9: Dreary Rain in a Dank Place

Track 10: Fine, We're From Omaha.

Track 11: Country Strong

Track 12: Just Me Humming

Track 13: My Penis Wears Chambray

Track 14: Brand New Bidet

Track 15: You Are a Moat (My Heart is a Portcullis)

Bonus Track #1: The Sound of Holding in My Farts for Eight Years

Bonus Track #2: One Thousand Leaves of Arugula

Bonus Track #3: At Night I Sneak Into the Bathroom and Watch Things That Shame Me

[jeremyy]

GQ Exclusive: The (Totally Serious) Tracklist For Coldplay's New Album

Yeah really serious. They use all of their seriousness eeeh.

[*MX*ColdplayObsess3d]

^^ WTF?! HOW DARE THEY MAKE FUN OF COLDPLAY IN SUCH A CHILDISH FASHION!!! :furious:

[IloveChris]

Seriously, when am I supposed to laugh? :shrug:

[Mimixxx]

It is a little bit funny... :escaping:

[NumbersGirl]

Yeah, I think it's kind of funny. It's not meant to be serious. And whether it's positive or negative, it's free advertising, so it's not all bad.

BTW I'm going to move this to the LP5 section since this is about LP5. And I'll change it to say "not funny" instead of "snot funny".


edit: Oh yeah, and the article also states this at the end, maybe you didn't see it. It is related to the ** notation, which is also in your post:

"**OK, not an exclusive, because these are all made up. Except "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall." That really fucking is the name of the song."

[Jony]

Mmh... really not funny ¬¬


xD

[Twisted mind]

"**OK, not an exclusive, because these are all made up. Except "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall." That really fucking is the name of the song."

Theheh :awesome: I find the name of the song also rather.... cheesy *cough*

[Mimixxx]

I'm looking forward to this one the most I think:

Track 5: She's Never Gone Down On Me (But Every Night I Comb Her Hair)

:wacky:

[taameen**sparks**]

Track 11: Country Strong


NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW :veryangry2:

[Violet]

Actually, I found this mildly humorous.

[The Final Track]

It's a little funny, but mostly childish. Proper satire plz.

[Imke]

Bonus Track #1: The Sound of Holding in My Farts for Eight Years

That one's gonna be epic. :wacko:

[Lore]

I think it's actually funny :P

[Phoebeo]

Well.. Every Teardrop is a waterfall was a cheesy name.. But this is lame. :blank:

It's not because i'm a fangirl, but I can't see how this is supposed to be funny.

[an angel]

Fangirls have no sense of humor.

[DundahMifflin]

I usually laugh at these sorts of things, but this carried no humor whatsoever. I didn't laugh once.

[Alien Radio]

:blank:
My mum thinks ETIAW is such a cool and original name. :P xD

[Fix42YellowClocks]

:blank:
My mum thinks ETIAW is such a cool and original name. :P xD

I wouldn't say that. But it's certainly not the worst. Not as bad as "Da Da Da I Don't Love You You Don't Love Me A-Ha A-Ha" as far as I'm concerned.

[illuvcoldplay]

I think it's actually funny :P

I guess in a sarcastic kind of way :wacky:


Track 13: My Penis Wears Chambray

can't wait to hear this track

[the_escapist]

stupid joke.

[Tryptophan]

I chuckled a bit.

I'm mostly offended by the fact that it says "Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall" is a typically Coldplayish name. It's not.

[maria_shiver]

Since you've put it ... I saw it and I did not dare but I love there are people daring to post things like that ... and yes that's funny:D for me ........luv you new avi:kiss:

[maria_shiver]

I guess in a sarcastic kind of way :wacky:


Track 13: My Penis Wears Chambray

can't wait to hear this track

yeah..me too:P

[macky]

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being Hilarious and 1 being Lame, I'd said it's a 2. And I think this makes fun of Gwyneth more than Coldplay.

Anyhoo, I'm happy they are talking about Coldplay and this week, all the magazines that I've been reading they had nothing but praise for the band; EW (major magazine here) made it their #1 song/ must listen tune of the week.

[hotdensestate]

heh

[howyousawtheworld]

Could have been funny but it's pretty piss poor. If that's satirical then satire is dead!

[Corkus]

This list may not have been that funny, but it was probably funnier than whatever joke Coldplay was aiming for when they wrote and released ETIAW.

[hotdensestate]

^BURN

[CupitorVeritatis]

This list may not have been that funny, but it was probably funnier than whatever joke Coldplay was aiming for when they wrote and released ETIAW.

Hehehe and this post beats all.

[mc_squared]

That article deserves only one reaction:

:sleeping2:

[Violet]

This list may not have been that funny, but it was probably funnier than whatever joke Coldplay was aiming for when they wrote and released ETIAW.

-gigglesnort-

[Blue Glisten]

:shocked2: :rolleyes:

[Kroket]

I admit, I did laugh a bit

[woohoo37]

hahaha :)

[Loki0012]

i laughed too ... im a fan of coldplay but lets try to learn not to take things seriously..:laugh3:

[Chloe_Martin]

i was just like.....


wtf?........

[Cobalt]

I'm looking forward to this one the most I think:

Track 5: She's Never Gone Down On Me (But Every Night I Comb Her Hair)

:wacky:

Tehe

Dreary Rain in a Dank Place amuses me too

[Black Dog]

I like Coldplay a lot, but I also think this is very funny.

It's ok to poke fun at things you like, even at yourself. I think it's healthy.

[ColdplayingfromKansas]

' Here's A Song For Hotel Lobbies'

:laugh4:

[taameen**sparks**]

' Here's A Song For Hotel Lobbies'

:laugh4:

I think that may have been their opinion of ETIAW:laugh3:

[ColdplayingfromKansas]

^ :awesome:

We're just taking over all of these threads, aren't we? :P

[taameen**sparks**]

^Yeah!:awesome:

[CupitorVeritatis]

I think that may have been their opinion of ETIAW:laugh3:

hehehehehe yeahhh

[ColdplayingfromKansas]

^Yeah!:awesome:

:dance:

[taameen**sparks**]

:dance:

:dance: :dance:

[MosesTheMarshmallow]

Most of these sucked but I lol'ed at "Your Love is a Raw Quinoa Salad" because it actually sounds like a Coldplay title (Your Love is Everything) and because it makes fun of Chris's vegetarianism. :laugh3:

Seriously though, the other ones were pretty immature and unfunny. A good opportunity for lulz wasted, I say.