The Anti-Joke Thread

[Yellow Hill]

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

What happens when you pour a tablespoon of salt in to a cup of water?
You get sal****er.

What do you get when you have unprotected sex with a street hooker?
AIDS

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Being raped.

:disappointed:

[busybeeburns]

knock knock.

[Talor]

who is there?

[busybeeburns]

who is there?you are.

[Ahlem]

the wolf :lol:

EDIT: late

[MrsSeverusSnape]

Dammit, i can only remember portuguese jokes :(

[Ahlem]

What do you get when you cross a cobra tamer and a playwright?
William Snakespeare




Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?
It was closed. :laugh3:

[Josh42]

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

A pilot you racist fuck.

[Yellow Hill]

Oh noes

[MrsSeverusSnape]

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
"Damn!"

How do you keep someone in suspense?
Oh, I'll tell you tomorrow!

[Stefan-C8]

How do you say penis in Turkish?
With your mouth.

[Ahlem]

oh God :lol:

[MrsSeverusSnape]

How do you know you're Portuguese?
Look at your ID.

[Yellow Hill]

Why does Brian Peppers molest children?

Because he can.

[bruttiиo]

girl, did you just fart? because you blow me away...

[Ahlem]

am i the only one who's laughing at these jokes
yes!


























:uhoh:

[MrsSeverusSnape]

i am :lol:

[Josh42]

girl, did you just fart? because you blow me away...

lol'd

[Ahlem]

i am :lol:
thanks!

[bruttiиo]

so a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. they were all men, so it's not interesting.

[MrsSeverusSnape]

Do you know the elevator joke? I don't, i took the stairs.

[Ahlem]

:laugh3:

[MrsSeverusSnape]

What's the name of Bob The Builder when he's unemployed?
Bob.

[bruttiиo]

what do you get when you cross a human and a horse?



jail time...

and one scarred horse...


... or a centaur

[Space Invader]

Mira mi mata de mango



http://www.caerolus.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/fractal-mano.jpg

te dio risa?


a mi no me dió mango

[MrsSeverusSnape]

O que é que o Batman faz para entrar na Bat-Caverna?
Bat-Palmas.





:lol:

[Josh42]

It's like a fractal of hands...

[bruttiиo]

your momma's so fat, she has diabetes. for real...

[Yellow Hill]

Mira mi mata de mango



http://www.caerolus.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/fractal-mano.jpg

te dio risa?


a mi no me dió mango




:lol:

[MrsSeverusSnape]

^ Dani, explain pleeease

[Yellow Hill]

What's red crying and slowly rotating.
A baby in a microwave.

[Yellow Hill]

^ Dani, explain pleeease
Look at my Mangus tree.

Did it give you a laugh?

It didn't gave a mangus.

:uhoh: You know it's difficult to translate

[MrsSeverusSnape]

:sick:

[Yellow Hill]

A man arrived at a hospital after his wife had had a baby. When he reached the doctor, the doctor greeted him with a smile. "Good news! This is a case we've never seen before. Your baby can fly!" The man was a bit skeptical, so the doctor showed him by holding the baby in the air and dropping it. It fell straight down to the floor with a thud. The man was furious. "Wait, it worked before. Let me try again". So, this time, the doctor throws the baby across the room. It slams against the wall and plops down on the floor. By this time, the man is ready to kill the doctor. "I swear, it worked before you got here! Give me one last chance". So, the doctor takes the baby over to the window and drops it down three stories. Obviously, it falls to the ground, making an awful mess. The father begins to throttle the man, and with his last breath, the doctor says, "Just kidding...your baby was born dead."

:(

[MrsSeverusSnape]

I saw that in your blog :rolleyes:

[Julie]

What did the tree say to the cat?
Nothing, trees don't talk idiot.

[bruttiиo]

what did the cat say to the person?
I can talk to trees. you?

[Stefan-C8]

A man arrived at a hospital after his wife had had a baby. When he reached the doctor, the doctor greeted him with a smile. "Good news! This is a case we've never seen before. Your baby can fly!" The man was a bit skeptical, so the doctor showed him by holding the baby in the air and dropping it. It fell straight down to the floor with a thud. The man was furious. "Wait, it worked before. Let me try again". So, this time, the doctor throws the baby across the room. It slams against the wall and plops down on the floor. By this time, the man is ready to kill the doctor. "I swear, it worked before you got here! Give me one last chance". So, the doctor takes the baby over to the window and drops it down three stories. Obviously, it falls to the ground, making an awful mess. The father begins to throttle the man, and with his last breath, the doctor says, "Just kidding...your baby was born dead."

:(
omg lol :lol:

[Pseudonym]

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Being raped.

:disappointed:
:lol:

[Pseudonym]

What happened to the Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe when she finally got a real home?

She waited 20 years then died.

[Ahlem]

A man arrived at a hospital after his wife had had a baby. When he reached the doctor, the doctor greeted him with a smile. "Good news! This is a case we've never seen before. Your baby can fly!" The man was a bit skeptical, so the doctor showed him by holding the baby in the air and dropping it. It fell straight down to the floor with a thud. The man was furious. "Wait, it worked before. Let me try again". So, this time, the doctor throws the baby across the room. It slams against the wall and plops down on the floor. By this time, the man is ready to kill the doctor. "I swear, it worked before you got here! Give me one last chance". So, the doctor takes the baby over to the window and drops it down three stories. Obviously, it falls to the ground, making an awful mess. The father begins to throttle the man, and with his last breath, the doctor says, "Just kidding...your baby was born dead."

:(

this joke is shame:(

[flickahidalgo]

A man arrived at a hospital after his wife had had a baby. When he reached the doctor, the doctor greeted him with a smile. "Good news! This is a case we've never seen before. Your baby can fly!" The man was a bit skeptical, so the doctor showed him by holding the baby in the air and dropping it. It fell straight down to the floor with a thud. The man was furious. "Wait, it worked before. Let me try again". So, this time, the doctor throws the baby across the room. It slams against the wall and plops down on the floor. By this time, the man is ready to kill the doctor. "I swear, it worked before you got here! Give me one last chance". So, the doctor takes the baby over to the window and drops it down three stories. Obviously, it falls to the ground, making an awful mess. The father begins to throttle the man, and with his last breath, the doctor says, "Just kidding...your baby was born dead."

:(

:lol:

[Space Invader]

A man arrived at a hospital after his wife had had a baby. When he reached the doctor, the doctor greeted him with a smile. "Good news! This is a case we've never seen before. Your baby can fly!" The man was a bit skeptical, so the doctor showed him by holding the baby in the air and dropping it. It fell straight down to the floor with a thud. The man was furious. "Wait, it worked before. Let me try again". So, this time, the doctor throws the baby across the room. It slams against the wall and plops down on the floor. By this time, the man is ready to kill the doctor. "I swear, it worked before you got here! Give me one last chance". So, the doctor takes the baby over to the window and drops it down three stories. Obviously, it falls to the ground, making an awful mess. The father begins to throttle the man, and with his last breath, the doctor says, "Just kidding...your baby was born dead."

:(

hajhsjhsajaajahjajhsahjajhaaj

[Yellow Hill]

It's so dark

[Ahlem]

yeah! very

[Yellow Hill]

I actually enjoy dark humour...

[Ahlem]

:lol:

it depends on what

[Space Invader]

I actually enjoy dark humour...

I believe I do too... My sister can not believe I laughed at your sad joke...

[Yellow Hill]

One day, little Frankie was outside when it started to rain. But the rain was different from the usual rain - this rain was a shiny green substance. Frankie laughed as it fell on him. He opened his mouth and caught it on his tongue. "I will call it 'grooby'!!" he said. Frankie captured a jarful and brought it to his elementary school to show everyone. His friends were jealous and asked what it is. Frankie proudly said "It's 'grooby'!" Later in class, Frankie's teacher saw it and asked him what it is. Frankie said "It's 'grooby'! I named it!" She laughed and went back to the chalkboard. Frankie took his jar of grooby to his science teacher. "Look at my jar of grooby, Mr. Harris!" Mr. Harris said, "Frankie, you shouldn't call it grooby - you should call it 'nuclear waste'. The nearby reactor had a leak causing nuclear acid rain". Frankie gasped. Mr. Harris asked, "Frankie, you didn't happen to drink any did you?" Frankie reluctantly nodded. Harris ended with, "Frankie, I'm afraid you're going to get cancer and die."

[Space Invader]

que malo... hahaha

[noonsun]

One day, little Frankie was outside when it started to rain. But the rain was different from the usual rain - this rain was a shiny green substance. Frankie laughed as it fell on him. He opened his mouth and caught it on his tongue. "I will call it 'grooby'!!" he said. Frankie captured a jarful and brought it to his elementary school to show everyone. His friends were jealous and asked what it is. Frankie proudly said "It's 'grooby'!" Later in class, Frankie's teacher saw it and asked him what it is. Frankie said "It's 'grooby'! I named it!" She laughed and went back to the chalkboard. Frankie took his jar of grooby to his science teacher. "Look at my jar of grooby, Mr. Harris!" Mr. Harris said, "Frankie, you shouldn't call it grooby - you should call it 'nuclear waste'. The nearby reactor had a leak causing nuclear acid rain". Frankie gasped. Mr. Harris asked, "Frankie, you didn't happen to drink any did you?" Frankie reluctantly nodded. Harris ended with, "Frankie, I'm afraid you're going to get cancer and die."

Not that funny... I saw it coming from the "little Frankie was outside when it started to rain" bit. :\

[Yellow Hill]

I know it's so lame.

[Space Invader]

Not that funny... I saw it coming from the "little Frankie was outside when it started to rain" bit. :\

yeah me too

[ricardo]

A drunk man was sitting on a corner and then another one arrives, and guess what?
Now they were two.

[Yellow Hill]

I don't know why I am laughing at that.

[Space Invader]

I'm not gonna laugh... u.u

[ricardo]

I have one in Spanish, but impossible to traduce to English

[Yellow Hill]

I wanna know it

[Space Invader]

post it

[ricardo]

Mommy Mommy!!
What?!
Is grandma a mechanic?
No she isn't, why?
Then a bus just knocked her down.
[/lame]

[ricardo]

¿Cómo conviertes un vocho en una camioneta?
Le metes un chingo de cosas hasta que cheyenne.

[Yellow Hill]

-Mommy Mommy! I don't want a pool anymore!

-Shut up and keep spitting.

[ricardo]

Mommy Mommy I don't want to go to London anymore!
Shut up and keep swimming

[Yellow Hill]

¿Cómo conviertes un vocho en una camioneta?
Le metes un chingo de cosas hasta que cheyenne.


:rolleyes:

[Space Invader]

es mas gracioso en español... bueno, no... ni tanto...

[Space Invader]

¿Cómo conviertes un vocho en una camioneta?
Le metes un chingo de cosas hasta que cheyenne.


*facepalm* haha

[ricardo]

:rolleyes:
:uhoh:
Well at least smarter than the inebriated man one

[Yellow Hill]

:disappointed:

[cp13]

whats 2+2
4

[The Mad Hatter]

There's one in my signature...can you find it? :laugh4:

[Yellow Hill]

"Your mother is so fat that she intends to go on a diet"

:D

[The Mad Hatter]

lulz.