Your favourite Simpsons quotes [Archive] - Coldplay

cailiosa

13-05-2003, 05:42 PM

Great thread! I love this show.

These are some of my favorites:

(Homer eating peanuts, one drops under the sofa. Homer tries to find it)
"Eeewww, slimy....owww, pointy....AHHHH!!!, moving!! Awww, twenty dollars."
Homer's brain - "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts"
"Explain how!"
"Money can be exchanged for goods and sevices" - Homer's brain
"Woo-hoo!!"

Homer watching a meteor shower: "I wish God were alive to see this."

"You suck-diddly-uck Flanders"---Homer.

:)

Sweet One

13-05-2003, 06:37 PM

Here are some more of my favourite:

[Apu is shot.]
Apu: Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

Bart: Milhouse, what happened?! You were supposed to be watching the factory!
Milhouse: I was watchin'. First it started to fall over, then it fell over.

[Praying heavenward]
Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Kent Brockman: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work!

Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...
[laughs hysterically]
Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know.

Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

Lou: I went to the McDonalds over in Shelbyville the other day.
Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what?
Lou: Yeah, I never heard of it either but they say they have over 2000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Hmm...Must've sprung up over night.
Lou: But you know, its the little differences.
Chief Wiggum: Example?
Lou: Well at a McDonalds you can get a Krusty Burger with cheese. But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Get out! What do they call it?
Lou: A quarter pounder with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Quarter pounder with cheese...well I can see the cheese but? Hey, do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated Gum-Based beverages?
Lou: Yeah, they call them 'shakes.'
Eddie: *Pfft* 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.

And i know that there's more that i'll come across later..hahaha :lol:

Sweet One

13-05-2003, 06:39 PM

OH, another one!!

[Homer has been thrown out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant for eating too much.]
Lionel Hutz: This is the most blatant case of false advertising since my suit against the movie The Neverending Story!
Homer: So, do you think I have a case?
Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I don't use the word 'hero' lightly, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
Homer: Woohoo!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Professor Peedston

13-05-2003, 09:46 PM

this one is my favorite off the top of my head:

Kent Brockman: "Big game fever is reaching a fevered pitch as the fevered rivalrly between Springfield U. and Springfield A & M spreads like wild-fever. You call this writing?"
Writer: "I'm sorry, Uncle Kent. I lost my thesaurus."
Kent: "You'll lose more than your thesaurus... in additional news, Springfield Stadium has caught additional seating capacity fever. ERGH!"

Dandy Andy

13-05-2003, 10:33 PM

JEBUS!!!

and

Lisa: linguo, dead?
*bzzt bzzt*
linguo: Linguo IS dead...

Sweet One

14-05-2003, 12:06 AM

Alrighty!! Some more!!

[George Washington appears in Lisa's dream, urging her to reveal the truth about the town's founder. Lisa wakes up yelling:]
Lisa: I want to help you, George Washington!
Bart: [walking by her room] "I want to help you... George Washington"? Man, even your dreams are square.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Lisa: I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.
Homer: Too bad we don't live on a farm.

Homer: God is teasing me! Just like he teased Moses in the desert!
Marge: *Tested,* Homer. God *tested* Moses.

Principal Skinner: Children, I couldn't help monitoring you conversation. There's no mystery about Willy. Why, he simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.

Grampa Simpson: Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
Grampa Simpson: Flu?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Protein deficiency?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N -- yes. But please, don't you say that word!
Grampa Simpson: What, seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.

Homer: I don't have to be careful! I have a gun!

Marge: I think we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.

dionisio

14-05-2003, 01:57 AM

you`ll find a bunch of quotes (as mp3) here (http://www.bestsimpsonsquotes.homestead.com/) ;)

Sweet One

14-05-2003, 02:39 AM

FAAAAANTASTIC!! :D

walkingcontradiction

14-05-2003, 04:19 PM

LOL :lol: great thread.

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

and another one...

(Homer graduated from Krusty Clown College and is impersonating Krusty at Milhouse's brithday party)
Homer: and here's your giraffe little girl..
Ralph: i'm a boy
Homer: that's the spirit. never give up.

(the episode where bart wins an elephant from a radio station and later escapes with the elephant to this park with all these fake statues of animals..so, homer and gang minus bart goes looking for bart n elephant in the park and homer hits a fake deer..)
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer...
Marge: A female deer...

Professor Peedston

14-05-2003, 06:28 PM

haha speaking of the Stampy episode:

bart stands outside radio station yelling "i want my elephant" over and over. grampa and the old guy with the beard (i think his name is jasper) are listening to the radio at the retirement castle
Japser: "They're playing the elephant song again."
Grampa: "Reminds me of elephants."

haha i also like how Arnie Pie in the Sky has become a really bitter, angry, person in the recent years. i can't think of any quotes off the top of my head though.

Sweet One

14-05-2003, 07:37 PM

I love the Pinchy episode!!! Homer's eating Pinchy and is like "Oh man, this is so good...I wish Pinchy was here." :lol:

sailormaxx

15-05-2003, 02:11 AM

hehe, I love this episode...
the episode where homer and marge go to parent teacher conferences...

when they are leaving...
Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

Professor Peedston

15-05-2003, 06:26 AM

(springfield is being looted during a power outage)

Kent Brockman: "Arnie, I think what the people watching really want to know is, is my house ok?"
Arnie Pie in the Sky: "Oh, Kent, you mean your MANSION?!"
Kent: "Don't hate me because I bought at the right time, Arnie."
Arnie: "When's my right time, Kent? WHEN'S MY RIGHT TIME?!"

there, that's my example of Arnie the bitter angry reporter. it was on tonight.

Sweet One

16-05-2003, 08:53 PM

Some more for you!!

[Bachman Turner Overdrive is playing at a county fair.]
Bart: Who are those pleasant old men?
Homer: It's BTO! They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their big hit was TCB!
[Bart stares at Homer]
Homer: That's how we talked in the '70s. We didn't have a moment to spare.

::Hayley::

16-05-2003, 11:54 PM

"internet. is that thing still around?"

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

::Hayley::

17-05-2003, 12:04 AM

homer the food critic - "the food was not undelicious" :D

CityandColour

17-05-2003, 01:14 AM

hehe, The Simspons is my fav show but i cant think of any quotes yet, have to come up with some. :D

::Hayley::

17-05-2003, 03:51 PM

lol. there's millions of them out there :more...

I wonder where Bart is, his dinner's getting all cold ...... and eaten.

It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day. :lol:

Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.

Homer : Marge, where's that ... metal deely ... you use to ... dig ... food...
Marge : You mean, a spoon?
Homer : Yeah, yeah!

wooo :lol:

DrPolitik

17-05-2003, 03:58 PM

I like:

Homer in his mind, having a dream sequence, he's sitting round a table at a society ball: "I declare that to be the most whimsical joke of the season!"

i've used that soo many times, never gets old :)

Homer joins the NRA: "I dont need to be careful, I have a gun"

The comic book guy! 1 of my fave characters: "So how do you feel about 40- somethings who live in their mothers basement?..Dont try and change me baby" :D

Dandy Andy

18-05-2003, 07:09 AM

bart: so i says to mabel i says..
(homer walks in)
bart: i'll finish this up later

CityandColour

18-05-2003, 07:19 AM

Kent Brockman (on the TV): its 11 o'clock, do you know where you're children are?
Homer: I already told you last night, No!

Dandy Andy

18-05-2003, 07:33 AM

its CHOW-DAH! SAY IT!!
maitre-d : SH- ow - Derrrr

walkingcontradiction

18-05-2003, 05:27 PM

There's this foreign kid, he's in Lisa's class I think.. anyway, he finds out he failed English:
Kid: Me? Fail English?! That's unpossible!

Oh and when Bart gets into trouble with Australia for making a collect call or something..
Marge: So all Bart needs to do is apologize and everything;s ok?
Ambasaddor: Yes.
Bart: I could handle that- I'm good with fake apologies!
Marge: Bart!
Bart: I'm sorry..........
Marge: That's better.
Bart: *evil laughter*

DrPolitik

18-05-2003, 06:11 PM

Homer in the boys locker room, making fun of Martin: "That kid has bossoms!"
:D

Dandy Andy

18-05-2003, 07:46 PM

that kid wasnt foreign,...
it was ralph!

cailiosa

19-05-2003, 02:24 AM

One from tonight's season finale:

Milhouse: "War isn't the answer to anything."
Bart: "Except all of America's problems."
:lol:

Sweet One

19-05-2003, 04:26 AM

LMAO!!! NICE ONE!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

walkingcontradiction

19-05-2003, 07:39 AM

that kid wasnt foreign,...
it was ralph!
What, really? I was so sure it was the foreign kid.. what's his name btw? Calling him foreign kid makes me think of Fez in The 70s Show :D

cailiosa- LOL!! That was so good!

Jacob

19-05-2003, 02:17 PM

(During the Garbage Man song)
Bono- They tell you when your ass is showing.

cailiosa

19-05-2003, 03:19 PM

Thanks! :D

Jacob, I looove that episode! Especially when they're all on the plane and Bono takes Adam's spoon and throws it across the plane. :lol:

Jacob

19-05-2003, 05:50 PM

lol yes Cailiosa, I love that one.

Adam- Hey Bono, I've got a Springfield spoon. That completes my spoon collection.
The Edge- AHhhhh, here we go.
Bono- Can I see it?
(Adam gives Bono his spoon, Bono throws it across the plane and it hits Mr. Burns)
Mr. Burns- ******s..........

dpn5

13-06-2003, 04:30 PM

::Hayley::

16-06-2003, 11:07 PM

"Lisa are my pants on?"
"yes"
"good"

:D

cailiosa

17-06-2003, 04:51 AM

:lol:

Homer: "I can't take his money. I can't make my own money. I have to work for it....gaaaaahhhh!"

marianne

17-06-2003, 06:32 AM

best show ever :!:
homer takes a day of work tell try and sell suger.
marge-homer work rang if you don't go in tomorrow don't bother coming to work on monday.
homer-yahooooooooo long weekend
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

lol, that one is hilarious, i'm cryin as we speak, lol.

my fav one is:
(school bell rings)
Milhouse: School's out! Up yours Krabappel!
Edna: Well I'm glad the rest of you remembered that summer vacation starts at the end of the day, not the beginning.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Homer: Waitamin Waitamin Wait a minute... Lisa honey, are you saying you are never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork Chops!?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Yeah right Lisa, a wonderful "magical" animal. Hehe.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lisa: I'll stop buying Malibu Stacey clothing.
Bart: And I'll take up smoking and give that up.
Homer: Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar.
Lisa: But he didn't do anything!
Homer: Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Homer: Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marge: I'm going out now, Homer.
Homer: But what about dessert?
Marge: Oh for God's sake Homer, you can take the lid off your own can of pudding!
(Homer breaks the pull-tab)
Homer: AHHHH!! Now my pudding is trapped forever! So, I can take the lid off my own can of pudding, can I?! Shows what you know!!

there's probably way more, but that's all i got right now, lol

::Hayley::

17-06-2003, 10:31 PM

LOL marianne!! those are hilarious :lol:

cold_kitty

18-06-2003, 09:57 PM

sorry if someone already said this one but..........

Homer: moe, i've got this friend.
Moe: oh yeah, what's his name?
Homer: umm joey joe joe shabadu
Moe: that's the worst name i'v ever heard.

:: guy runs out whailing ::

barney: joey joe joe!!

Jacob

18-06-2003, 11:24 PM

Marge - Homer I'm going out to get something for supper now.
Homer - steak?
Marge - I don't have enough money for---
Homer - steak?
Marge - ..........yea sure.... steak.....

leno

20-06-2003, 10:31 AM

Homer: (singing) I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-A-T! S-M-A-T!

Jacob

20-06-2003, 03:20 PM

Mulder - Look Scully there has been another report of a UFO sighting we need to get down there right away
Scully - But, I just got this report of an illegal drugs and weapons shipment coming here tonight.
Mulder - I hardly believe the FBI deals with matters like that.

Prison Guard - No listenin ya hear me?
Homer - uhhhhh yes????
Prison Guard - You just never learn do ya?
(whips homer)

::Hayley::

21-06-2003, 02:06 PM

Homer: (singing) I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-A-T! S-M-A-T!

HAHAHA that's a good one!! what a genius he is :lol:

Dandy Andy

21-06-2003, 02:30 PM

isnt it SMRT??

anyway:

WE'RE HE'RE WE'RE QUEER GET USED TO IT!!
lisa: you do this every year, we ARE used to it!

heh :oops:

leno

21-06-2003, 02:54 PM

ppppffff dandy andy!!!

:lol: :lol: yeah it probably is SMRT, i have a bad memory

Dandy Andy

21-06-2003, 02:57 PM

i only remember cuz cock gal used to sing it all the time! it was DAMN catchy

hehehhe :)

leno

21-06-2003, 03:02 PM

haha so does my brother :roll:

Dandy Andy

21-06-2003, 03:06 PM

i want a brother.. but im not going to ask my parents cuz thats just DIRTY :roll:

leno

21-06-2003, 03:22 PM

why? I DID!!!! :o :lol:

at like age 4

Dandy Andy

21-06-2003, 03:43 PM

HAHAHAH and you got one? eeeeeeeeew....

christmas present! :D
my teacher was telling us... disturbing truths aboot looking at your birthday and then going roughly about 9 months back... and most of the time, people are usually conceived on a holiday or celebration day
:lol:
:oops:

el_scorcho

22-06-2003, 03:10 AM

Mayor's Assistant - "Sir, there's an unruly mob here to see you."
Mayor - "Does this 'unruly mob' have an appointment?"
Mayor's Assistant - "Uhhh...yes...yes they do."
Principal Skinner - "I called ahead!"

babylon bebop

22-06-2003, 03:23 AM

my fav is one of the halloween specials 'time and punishment' where homer makes a time machine out of a toaster.

homer: "ahhh, what a beautiful morning, i have a feeling today is going to be a good day!"
bart: "DAD!! YOUR HAND IS CAUGHT IN THE TOASTER!!!"
homer: "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH" flails around for a while and finally flings the toaster off his hand across the room, then sits on the floor next to the fridge and rests
lisa: "DAD ITS ON THERE AGAIN!"
homer: "AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH"

marianne

22-06-2003, 06:53 AM

more funny quotes that kill me....lol..

Homer: How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!

you know which one i can't remember well, it's from the halloween special, where marge is a witch, and at the end of the scene, homer is throwing eggs at the house in his genie costume, and says "come out we know your home, give us candy .. ( or somethin to that effect) .. and lisa goes "dad that's our house", town laughs... and homer screams, "get her! she's a witch!" .. lol... that was funny!!

Jacob

22-06-2003, 12:46 PM

Millhouse after that girl he liked got switched to an all girl's school.

Ralph - There stands a broken man.
Todd - It's recess everywhere except in his heart.

Sally_

22-06-2003, 11:53 PM

homer: bart! I can't find the remote I looked all over the house!
bart: did you check your pocket?!
(homer pulls the remote out of his pocket)

ralph: I found a moon rock in my nose....

ralph: my cats breath smells like cat food

(homer talking to his football team)
homer: okay now here comes the hard part... the cuts. I only cut....you....you...you and....you.
(Everyone else sighs in relief)
homer: Okay now everyone can hit the showers. Except for you steven....your cut.

Sally_

22-06-2003, 11:54 PM

:lol:

babylon bebop

23-06-2003, 01:35 AM

the end of that episode where bart and ralph are friends:

leprachaun: "well done laddy, youve done a good deed today! now all you have to do is burn down the house.....BURN THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!"

ralph: smiles happily

cailiosa

24-06-2003, 04:16 AM

From the episode where Homer uses marijuana for medical purposes:

Marge: "Homer, I'm starting to get worried...."
Homer: "No need Marge, thanks to yes-I-cannabis I just got a promotion at work. WHOA! We have a kitchen!"

Professor Peedston

24-06-2003, 06:53 AM

mmm.... unexplained bacon

babylon bebop

25-06-2003, 02:32 AM

mmmmmmmm.....forbidden donut *gargles*

badlydrawngirl

01-07-2003, 03:17 PM

Homer:"They have the Internet on computers now"?

Octakon

01-07-2003, 03:32 PM

One of my Favourites: (Homer and Bart is putting glaze on one of the sofa-pillows)
Marge; Why are you putting glaze on the sofa-pillow?
Homer; Hm... I Could ask you the same thing!
Marge; I think I'll leave you two alone...
:lol:
(..or something like that. I don't remember exactly..)

badlydrawngirl

01-07-2003, 03:35 PM

:lol: that programme never gets old!

Octakon

01-07-2003, 03:36 PM

Another one: (Homer have got himself a new computer and he turns it on:)

-Press ANY KEY-
Homer: Where's the ANY key?! *scream*
:lol:

badlydrawngirl

01-07-2003, 03:38 PM

haha, I remember that one! He put on loads of weight on purpose so he could stay at home and work!
:lol:

babylon bebop

02-07-2003, 04:44 AM

-Press ANY KEY-
Homer: Where's the ANY key?! *scream*

i love that one!

Homer: phew, all this work is making me thirsty, i think ill order a TAB *presses tab key* OH, no time for that, the computer is starting!

Octakon

02-07-2003, 09:22 AM

hahaha :lol:

Anyone who remebers the episode were Homer smokes pot? And then he starts to sing "Smoke on the water". Thats one of my favorites :lol:

DrPolitik

03-07-2003, 01:00 PM

Homer finds some extra cash (in his pocket if i remember right) then says: Marge, send the kids to the neighbors, i'm coming home loaded! :lol:

Homer heckling Ned from the bleachers: Flaaaaaaaderrrrs..Flaaaaaaanderrrs..

Millhouse naming himself Thrillhouse on some video game score list was pretty funny :)

"The Foreign Kid" btw, is Uter, the German Exchange Student!

ShibbNani

09-07-2003, 08:11 PM

Homer (singing) -- "Simpson/Homer Simpson/ He's the greatest guy in history...From the/ Town of Springfield/ He's about to hit a chestnut tree..AAAHHH!" *crashes*

cold_kitty

10-07-2003, 03:16 PM

lol. these are all great!

i still love the comic book guys "there is no emoticon to describe what i'm feeling!" the best.

lmao.

DrPolitik

11-07-2003, 02:17 AM

lol. these are all great!

i still love the comic book guys "there is no emoticon to describe what i'm feeling!" the best.

lmao.

:lol: :lol: That guy is awesome!! My fave character!

el_scorcho

11-07-2003, 02:26 AM

Comic book guy is hilarious! :lol:

Jacob

11-07-2003, 02:00 PM

WORST EPISODE EVER! hahahahah

The Comic Book guy yea, hahahaha, I always laugh when they show the outside of his shop and the name of his store "The Android Dungeon!" hahaha

anyways. I heard this line yesterday, and I was cracking up.
Grandpa Simpson "But son, the Simpson name is my legacy to you, I got it from my father, and he got it from hit father, and his father got it when he traded a mule for it. And that mule went on to win back Spring Break!" ahahhahahahah

DrPolitik

14-07-2003, 03:31 PM

More from Comic Book Guy!: "What's you're name?...Homer?...well excuse me "Homer," is you're name James Cameron or Ridley Scott?? No, it isn't.. so please kindly step away from my screenplay, thank you"
:lol:

"Since my breakfast burrito is rapidly congealing, i'll be blunt, i no longer have that item in question, bart simpson"

VIVA Comic Book Guy!

DoogieJ

14-07-2003, 04:10 PM

Bart: Homer do you wear boxers or briefs?
*Homer looks down*
Homer: Nope!

Witness protection guy: Ok Homer, when I nod my head and tap your leg and say Hell Mr Thompson, you say hello back. OK?
Homer: OK
WPG: *nods head, taps leg* Hello Mr thompson
*Homer sits still*
*long pause*
*Homer looks to the other guy and says*
Homer: I think he's talking to you.

:lol:

Scully: Homer this is a lie detector, it can detect when you lie. Do you understand?
Homer: yes
*lie detector goes boom*

Mo: Barney show them the exit
Barney: Theres a what now?

DrPolitik

14-07-2003, 04:21 PM

Scully: Homer this is a lie detector, it can detect when you lie. Do you understand?
Homer: yes
*lie detector goes boom*

:lol: :lol: :lol:

badlydrawngirl

14-07-2003, 04:52 PM

badlydrawngirl

14-07-2003, 04:55 PM

Homer quotes:
"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight."

badlydrawngirl

14-07-2003, 04:57 PM

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

:lol:

DoogieJ

14-07-2003, 05:02 PM

DoogieJ

14-07-2003, 05:03 PM

Homer when confronting marge about her gambling problem

Homer: You made Lisa cry, then I cried, then Maggie burped, she's such a little trooper.

Homer: Kid's a terrible monster has taken hold of your mom. I call him GAMBLOR!

badlydrawngirl

17-07-2003, 01:46 PM

lol i forgot the U R GAY one :)

thats the same episode where he keeps making Marge write at the end of the letter

PS I am homosexual

isnt it?

Dr Hibbit: I'm sorry to inform you Marge, but Homer's dead.
Marge: *gasp*
Dr Hibbit: April fool!

The 'U R Gay' episode was the one when Homer joined this 'club' that strangely enough most of the people in town had already joined. Even Mr Burns! The Stonecutters! Thats what they were called!
and haha! that Dr Hibbert thing is funny! Talk about inappropriate :lol:

Leaver

17-07-2003, 01:52 PM

:lol: :lol: Love the simpsons!

badlydrawngirl

18-07-2003, 05:40 PM

me too me too :)

badlydrawngirl

18-07-2003, 05:40 PM

me too me too :)

badlydrawngirl

18-07-2003, 05:41 PM

shite double post :roll:

Reilly

03-05-2005, 05:36 PM

Lets bump this beeotch.

CityandColour

03-05-2005, 06:31 PM

I remember one time, Mr Burns was really sick or something or needed some kind of blood type and Homer, Lenny and Carl we're talking at work.

Carl: I could help him, but I won't
Both, I think: Why's that?
Carl: 'cause I don't wanna

Hahaha... It sounds dumb, but I laughed my ass off when I first heard it.

Reilly

03-05-2005, 06:32 PM

Hmmm.... OKay :P

Well I dont have any in my head right now, but at least 2 days a week Simpsons quotes keep popping up in my head and Im laughing my ass off all day for no reason.

Powerslave

03-05-2005, 06:41 PM

"And it's all thanks to this inanimate carbon rod!"

IN ROD WE TRUST

Reilly

03-05-2005, 06:41 PM

Hahaha! Yes!

Sweet One

03-05-2005, 06:45 PM

Wow. Old thread. That I started. In the wrong forum, no less. :idea2:

Reilly

03-05-2005, 06:45 PM

Haha! Wuv that sweetun.

Sweet One

03-05-2005, 06:49 PM

Wow. I'm reading this thread and I am loving it. hahaha

Skinned Alive

03-05-2005, 07:26 PM

BART: And you've never found anything?
SKINNER: Once, but by the time I got to the phone my discovery had already been reported by Principal Kahoutek. (ominously) I got back at him, though... him and that little boy of his.

Sweet One

03-05-2005, 07:28 PM

:lol:

Skinned Alive

03-05-2005, 07:37 PM

:D Skinner is my favourite character, by far:

CHALMERS: When was the battle of New Orleans?
RALPH: What's a battle?
SKINNER: (laughs) Let's go.
CHALMERS: Did that boy just ask "what's a battle?"
SKINNER: No, he said "what's that rattle?"
CHALMERS: It sounded like "battle".
SKINNER: (pauses) I have a cold, so...
CHALMERS: Oh, so you hear R's as B's?
SKINNER: ... Yes.

shanecrofts

03-05-2005, 07:41 PM

iv'e got a sudden urge to watch the simpsons, just remembered how funny the simpsons is ( cant believe i forgot about it, i feel ashamed :cry: )

Sweet One

03-05-2005, 07:55 PM

:stunned: and you should.

ahaha just kidding. :D

shanecrofts

03-05-2005, 08:08 PM

Sweet One

03-05-2005, 08:17 PM

More quotes from moi.

Apu: Ah. The searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you. I mean, I think I'm dying.

------------------------------------

Mr. Burns: Son you're hired. What's your name?
Homer: Homer Simpson.
Mr. Burns: Simpson eh? I'll remember that name.
Homer: WHOO HOO! Only in America could I get a job.

----------------------------------------------------

[Homer gets shot with a tranquilizer dart]
Bart: Dad! Oh, Dad!
Homer: Avenge me, son. Avenge my death.
[starts snoring loudly]

----------------------------------------------------------

Krusty the Clown: Hand over all your money in a paper bag!
Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sweet One

03-05-2005, 08:22 PM

Principal Skinner: [over the intercom] Attention please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore.
[Lisa raises her hand]
Principal Skinner: Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson? Thank you, Lisa.

Homer: It's true, I'm a rageoholic! I just can't get enough RAGEOHOL!
[cries]

Grampa: [to Homer] Make me proud... or at least less ashamed.

Sweet One

03-05-2005, 08:32 PM

Marge: [Marge has entered a demolition derby] Don't hit me! I'm not like you people, I'm loved!

Skinned Alive

03-05-2005, 09:08 PM

WOMAN: So, why do you want to be a "Bigger Brother"?
HOMER'S BRAIN: Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge!
HOMER: Uh... revenge?
HOMER'S BRAIN: That's it, I'm getting outta here! (footsteps, door slamming)

HOMER: Here's your giraffe, little girl!
RALPH: I'm a boy!
HOMER: (patronising) That's the spirit - never give up.

HOMER: Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably! The lesson is: never try.

johnny_t

04-05-2005, 03:12 AM

i read the whole thread without stoppin it is very addictive...this is the most funny thread i ever read yet :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

pls more plsss :rolleyes:

Sweet One

04-05-2005, 04:38 AM

this is the most funny thread i ever read yet

thank you Johnny. hahah..

I'll post more tomorrow after my class or when i can remember a really good one.

sweet marianne

04-05-2005, 05:33 AM

i totally forgot about this thread, i read it from the beginning again and i was cryin the whole way through, o man, i looooooooove this show!

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he's all right.

Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.

o man, eyes are getting watery, lol, i'll post more later...

Sweet One

04-05-2005, 05:51 AM

Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he's all right.

CHIEF PIGGUM!! I love that one! hahahahah :lol:

Skinned Alive

04-05-2005, 05:08 PM

MARGE: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
HOMER: New glasses?
MARGE: No, it seems something might be disturbing him.
HOMER: Probably misses his old glasses.
MARGE: I guess we could take more of an interest in his activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
HOMER: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
MARGE: That's not what I meant.
HOMER: It was Marge, admit it.

MrLick

04-05-2005, 05:52 PM

my favorite lines are when homer says

HOMER-Marge I;m not going to lie to you.

then he just walks away.

then theres

HOMER-you;ll have to speak up im wearing a towl
HOMER-beer, the cause and solutions to lifes problems.

Sweet One

04-05-2005, 09:57 PM

beer, the cause and solutions to lifes problems.

haha, that was my signature for a while.

MrLick

04-05-2005, 11:15 PM

beer, the cause and solutions to lifes problems.

haha, that was my signature for a while.

haha thats awesome. i love that quote from the simpsons, my friend has a poster of a bunch of the funny quotes on it. thats where i got the beer quote from.

johnny_t

04-05-2005, 11:58 PM

Quote:

this is the most funny thread i ever read yet

thank you Johnny. hahah..

I'll post more tomorrow after my class or when i can remember a really good one.

pls do laura, and in case i dont cathc u...have a nice day :)

:lol: :lol: damn that homer just cracks me up

::Hayley::

05-05-2005, 12:27 AM

johnny_t

05-05-2005, 12:35 AM

can someone remind me of wt gradpa said once about==> u shut my battle ship or somethin? i dont remember it but i remember of laughin really hard :)

sweet marianne

05-05-2005, 06:55 AM

lol, i think it was, "you sunk my battleship". they kept saying it at the old folks home and they kept laughing, i'm laughing as i type this. haha!

Sweet One

05-05-2005, 06:28 PM

pls do laura, and in case i dont cathc u...have a nice day

:nice: you too.

Tulac_

05-05-2005, 07:52 PM

It's probably been quoted somewhere, but I was too lazy to read the whole topic so:
Homer: D'oh

Reilly

05-05-2005, 09:25 PM

:thinking:

C'mon you can do better than that.

::Hayley::

05-05-2005, 09:28 PM

:laugh3: i was thinking that too...... :dozey:

Sweet One

05-05-2005, 09:38 PM

I was also thinking that. :lol:

Reilly

05-05-2005, 09:44 PM

We're like one big brain :smart:

Sweet One

05-05-2005, 09:50 PM

YAY!!!!!

::Hayley::

05-05-2005, 09:55 PM

woooo imagine the possibilities!!! :dizzy2:

Sweet One

05-05-2005, 09:56 PM

:stunned:

....we could rule the world....

Reilly

05-05-2005, 10:35 PM

Or satirise peoples comments :idea2:

::Hayley::

05-05-2005, 10:37 PM

Bbwwhahahahahahah :devilish:

Sweet One

05-05-2005, 11:11 PM

Or satirise peoples comments

Right. Or that. :lol:

Skinned Alive

06-05-2005, 02:07 AM

BART: It's no use. I'm never gonna find that lemon tree! This whole raid was as useless as that lemon-shaped rock over there... Wait a minute... There's a lemon behind that rock!

WILLY: (rushing in, on fire) Help! Please! Somebody help me!!!
SKINNER: Willy, please, Mr. Van Houten has the floor!
KIRK: I for one would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance so that parents can plan accordingly. I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.

MYERS: Your honour, you take away our right to plagiarise ideas, where are they gonna come from? Her!? (points to Marge)
MARGE: Umm... how about... Ghost Mutt?

MrLick

06-05-2005, 10:07 PM

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

seventeen seconds

06-05-2005, 10:14 PM

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

:lol: Hahahahaha!!! This one's awesome. I laughed for like 10 minutes after having read it.

PS: This is the best thread.

MrLick

06-05-2005, 10:29 PM

Wiggum: Well let me ask you this: shut up.

Moe: Homer, lighten up! You're making Happy Hour bitterly ironic.

Lenny: So then I said to the cop, "No, you're driving under the influence ... of being a jerk."

This one is one of my favorites!

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Ralph:"This snowflake tastes like fish sticks."

Jae

06-05-2005, 11:08 PM

.......Elmo knows where you live......

Bijeli_Miš

06-05-2005, 11:10 PM

My favorite is Homer's "duhrgh" or something like that.
:lol:

MrLick

06-05-2005, 11:17 PM

Lol is Do'h! thats what homer says.

wayne

06-05-2005, 11:44 PM

*gurgggh* open-faced club sand-wedge *drools*

- and -

he who tops it off, drops it off

Reilly

06-05-2005, 11:49 PM

My favorite is Homer's "duhrgh" or something like that.
:lol:

The Laura-Hayley-Me brain is twitching. :rolleyes:

Ambergris

07-05-2005, 12:01 AM

I actually like a chapter (the one when bart gets famous with his "wasn't me")

Because at the end Lisa says something like "is good not to be rocognised just by a phrase, as an stereotipycal character..." and then everyone appears doing his famous phrase, Homers says Duh!, Marge says Uhmm, Barney burps, Burns says excellent...

And then lisa gets dissapointed and goes to her room. :lol:

MrLick

07-05-2005, 12:08 AM

that episode was just on the other night, i forgot about it though. it was a good one.

Skinned Alive

07-05-2005, 01:17 AM

HOMER: Don't you ever listen to that guy in church - Captain What'shisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun?! Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you!?!

twin4life

07-05-2005, 06:28 AM

homer: mmm....floor pie *drools*

johnny_t

07-05-2005, 01:08 PM

ol, i think it was, "you sunk my battleship". they kept saying it at the old folks home and they kept laughing, i'm laughing as i type this. haha!

:lol: yup that was the one...u have to see it to feel it

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

this one rules :D i always like how Homer confuses us and himself, while he thinks he is right :lol:

homer: mmm....floor pie *drools*

yup and him druling over pie or peanut is just great

johnny_t

07-05-2005, 01:10 PM

who remembers the episode where Homer sings " Who wears a short short....i wear a short short", pretty funny episode...i think he also sad with god on the sofa because he skepped church and god wanted to punish him for that or somethin

ALR

08-05-2005, 02:22 AM

The medicinal marijuana episode's gotta' be my fave. The stoned shaving scene set to 'Wear Your Love Like Heaven" is classic.

Skinned Alive

08-05-2005, 09:42 PM

BART: Watch out Radioactive Man! The sun is exploding again!
MARGE: Bart, why are you talking like that?
HOMER: Yeah, and who are you talking to? Marge, do you have other men in this house? Radioactive men?

sweet marianne

09-05-2005, 04:34 AM

Leonard Nimoy: I think this vessel could do at least warp 5.
Quimby: Yes, and may the force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: Of course I do. Werent you one of the little rascals.

Homer: I have a great way to solve our money woes. You rent your
womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant.
Marge: Are you crazy? I'm not going to be a surrogate mother.
Homer: C'mon, Marge, we're a team. It's uter-US, not uter-YOU.
Marge: Forget it! :lol:

Lisa: Milhouse, she got you too!
Milhouse: Yeah but its ok im standing on Ralph...
Ralph: We're a totum pole HIHOWAREYA HIHOWAREYA

(Speaking over emergency radio)
Marge: Chief Wiggum? my husbands gone crazy and is trying to murder my family; OVER
Chief Wiggum: oh, well thank good thats over, i starting to worry there....

Stage hand: Come on people, someone ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Possibly while high... Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction.

Cletus (at the carwash): All right youngens, bath time. Cover up your eyes and drop your britches! Who wants wax?

McBain: Laughing time is ovah.

Bart to Milhouse: How can someone with glasses so thick be so stupid?

Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness. :lol:

Homer: I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

lol. :lol: :lol: i watched tonites ep, and they had the funniest line. but i can't remember it anymore. hahha. i feel like homer right now.